Bertie at the Seaside Bathing Belle Contest!!

Galloping Gargoyles!!
I never knew He still made them like that!!
Quipped Bertie, the Junior.
Khaki trousers,
A crisp white shirt
And a blazer dark!
Dashing hunk,
He stood,
Eying the damsels
At the Seaside Bathing Belle Contest.

Shapely, those carrot topped Jezebels
His eyes took in.
Skipping a beat, he stared-
(Er...its rude to stare,
Someone did remind him-
A kick at his ribs)-
Holy Molly! what are eyes for,
If not to drink in
These Lovely gentle buttercups?
(Scarlet Headed Delilahs
Of the City-
How disgustingly acrid their lips stick stains!
Urgh! My skin crawls, in loath.)

Time to announce the Winners, Mr.Bertie-
Nudged him awake, the organizer.
Mighty proud Bertie hopped onto the dais
The winners of the Seaside Bathing Belle Contest:
Miss Marlene Higgins of Brixon
'N Miss Marilyn Bunting of Penge.
Ladies, here's your prize-
Old Doctor Gordon's Bile Magnesia-
A gallon each-
In a Crystal Jug, Absolutely Free!!

Urghhh! It sounds so Yuck-
Screamed the ladies, in unison
Slamming the bulk all on his head.
Bertie Junior stood sleek-
Dripping of Bile Magnesia, head to toe.
Tastes Horrible these,
Now, I gather-
Noted Young Bertie, a tone so matter-of-fact.

No blame young ladies-
I understand your reaction-
These Old Doctor Gordon's Bile Magnesia
Can make even the sanest go rockers.
I care not a smidgen,
After all, one can hardly remain cross at
Any Mary, Madeline or Rosy,
Can he??
Well, Bertie never can-
For sure.

And, Bertie smiled ever so smug.


(Note: Wi due apologies to P.G Wodehouse- just used his characters n language here...)