Sunday, 7 September 2008

Bertie at the Seaside Bathing Belle Contest!!

Galloping Gargoyles!!
I never knew He still made them like that!!

Quipped Bertie, the Junior.
Khaki trousers,
A crisp white shirt
And a blazer dark!
Dashing hunk,
He stood,
Eying the damsels
At the Seaside Bathing Belle Contest.

Shapely, those carrot topped Jezebels
His eyes took in.
Skipping a beat, he stared-
(Er...its rude to stare,
Someone did remind him-
A kick at his ribs)-
Holy Molly! what are eyes for,
If not to drink in
These Lovely gentle buttercups?
(Scarlet Headed Delilahs
Of the City-
How disgustingly acrid their lips stick stains!
Urgh! My skin crawls, in loath.)

Time to announce the Winners, Mr.Bertie-

Nudged him awake, the organizer.
Mighty proud Bertie hopped onto the dais
The winners of the Seaside Bathing Belle Contest:
Miss Marlene Higgins of Brixon
'N Miss Marilyn Bunting of Penge.
Ladies, here's your prize-
Old Doctor Gordon's Bile Magnesia-
A gallon each-
In a Crystal Jug, Absolutely Free!!

Urghhh! It sounds so Yuck-

Screamed the ladies, in unison
Slamming the bulk all on his head.
Bertie Junior stood sleek-
Dripping of Bile Magnesia, head to toe.
Tastes Horrible these,
Now, I gather-

Noted Young Bertie, a tone so matter-of-fact.

No blame young ladies-
I understand your reaction-
These Old Doctor Gordon's Bile Magnesia
Can make even the sanest go rockers.
I care not a smidgen,
After all, one can hardly remain cross at
Any Mary, Madeline or Rosy,
Can he??
Well, Bertie never can-
For sure.

And, Bertie smiled ever so smug.

(Note: Wi due apologies to P.G Wodehouse- just used his characters n language here...)


  1. You know, for someone who loves PG Wodehouse, this one sure is a treat and a very nice treat this one is for me :)

  2. Lolz..Sash..:)
    Truly awesome..:)
    *giggles and Giggles only*
    Too good..:)

  3. Lolzz.. :D one of my favourites here!!!!




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