Monday 31 December 2007

Beloved memories...








I feel myself shrink,
Shrink away, into oblivion.
Guilt pangs striking at me,
Lapping me up, in its whirl.

Years ago, I had cried,
My soul out, in despair,
At losing you, my love,
To death, to eternal flames.

I had felt so deep,
The pain, ever gnawing at me,
Gashes deep, in my heart,
Raw, even ages after.

I had never known,
That a day would come,
When your existence,
Would seem translucent.

A faded silhouette,yours,
I could never fathom to be.
But tonight as I ponder on,
I find yourself so far, faraway.

The day you left me, forever,
I had believed, I'd never ever forget,
The very day, ever in my life,
A dark day, heart wrenching.

And yet, as I woke up today morn,
I smiled ,and I felt fresh as ever,
Oblivious to the date, the one day,
I'd vouched to never forget.

But alas! I did forget,
Faded away into the flimsy layers,
Of life's many terrains,
You have wandered away, so far away.

And all I feel is despair,
A vacuum, self hatred and pain,
Of having forgotten,
Having let you, dim away.

But as I sit down, savoring memoirs,
Of what seems eons ago,
I find the very same feeling,
Of love, of care, of belonging.

And I realize, despite the faded aura,
And all the worldly influences,
Despite the circle around me today,
You still, live on, in me.

Dormant love, I realize,
As I hold back onto the memories,
And I am glad, today, i feel you, in all love,
Not as painful reveries, but as beloved memories...

Disguise










Behind her flimsy veil, she hid,
An ocean of her emotions, stinging,
And as her lips curve, into a smile,
Her veil hides the new drop of dewy tear,
Threatening to befall.

Could any disguise be more apt, than a smile, I wonder?

Sunday 30 December 2007

Untying Entanglements








A cluster of feelings,
Rushes through me, now.
I wonder how does one,
Unhook old clasps,
Well fitting latches,
Pried open, off the sudden.

Call it untying of entanglements,
Yet really, is it what it seems?
Isn't there a hint of something more,
I wonder, loud outright?

Criss crosses of iron,
Did i ever tie all around you,
That u wish to let free,
Free of the straining chains,
Culmination of emotions,
Leading to sheer aloofness.

Be it breaking away of shackles,
Be it shedding off the undesired,
Whatever be it, however you do it,
Count me in. For, there is nothing I could do.

Saturday 29 December 2007

Forever mine...

















You have struck a chord deep,
Untouched for ages across,
Bare, monotonous, calm,
Content in its solitude.

You came in closer, urging in,
And despite every fear,
I let you in, ever cautious.
And peep in, you did.

Curtains fell, a masquerade dropped,
And I stood before you, naked,
My soul bared open, pure,
And you cloaked me, with all love.

My vacuous self breathed anew,
A rhythm flowed into me,
And my heart leaped to beat,
To the music of your love.

Tonight, as yet another year slips away,
I wish we would remain so, forever,
But as I utter those very words,
I know, you are my forever!!!

Sky Far...


























Silver linings, white soft silk,
Creamy skin, supple, yielding.
She stood at the hall way,
Twinkling eyes, lined in Kohl,
Shining eye lashes, shimmering,
Holding alive, a million dreams.
The lone string of lustrous beads,
On her slender neck,it shone.
Locks of golden hair, let down,
Swaying along, in the breeze,.
Her vine red lips, mesmerizing,
Curved, offering a dazzling smile.
Dangling chandeliers, glittering,
Jingling from across her ears soft.
White silk, hugging her tight,
Gentle curves, swaying delight.

She stood, across the stairway,
A golden dream, in the midnight blue.
Aching to touch, to hold, to love,
He stood, hidden behind the crowd,
Watching, devouring, her every move.
Ever oblivious to him, she moved,
Gliding across the glazing ball room,
Dancing feet and breathtaking beauty.

Eyes cloudy, in sheer awe, he stood,
Admiring, loving, achingly distant.
Painstakingly beautiful, she stood,
Steps ahead, in all divine splendor.
Flocks of people, rushed over,
To bow, to please, to see- her.
And he stood away, far away,
Behind the luscious gold curtains,
Afraid, to be noticed, to be known.
Aching for her, yet ever so content,
With just a glimpse, he sighed.
Breath caught, he stood through,
Watching the stardust rain over her,
Sprinkled in the moonlight, astral.
And then, he felt the curtains vanish,
And he saw her looking up, at the sky.

Smiling at him, she stood, vulnerable,
And he twinkled, a star, from the sky...

Saturday 22 December 2007

Stoned faith








Stoned faith, she sighed, in despair,

At his bleeding forehead, drenched in red,
Redemption of faith, but, by self torture?

Thursday 20 December 2007

Random Lines, Etched Deep...











In the shady dusk of dawn,
I sit, cross-legged,
Head bowed,
Not in reverence,
Mere aloofness.

Is it this?

Or is it that?

....maybe, I need more time, more space...

Time seems still,
The clock static, dead.

The candle seems dying,
Flame bluish, cyanotic .


I count my toes,
One, two, three....
...nine and ten.


Wishing for a knife,
In the darkest of nights,
No cuts, no bruises,
Fair spotless skin,
My clean slate, to run my thoughts.

Ebbing blood,
Spotted stains,
Tainted soul, unleashed...

My thoughts take a spin,
And my eyes do a double,
Slipping away...


To sleep?
Ah! How silly, emotions could be?

Running loose,
All over,
And I know, harnesses no strong...


Is this what I meant to say?


Or is it yet another fake symbolic note?

Keep wondering,
As I do,
Often.

No, no! Not tonight...

Christmas Blossoms :)


An ode to Christmas, here I go,
Dwelling into my childhood memories,
Memories of savoring the special days,
Of living and loving Christmas:

As the snow carpet begins to veil,
All the glory hidden beneath the layer,
As the chilly winds begin to holler,
And winter sales being to flood allover,
I find myself awake, to a new December,
A new winter, and a new Christmas!

Trudging through the snowy footpaths,
Dressed in fur, covered in layers of wool,
Windows all over, displaying goodies,
Apartments cloaked in golds and reds,
Shimmery decorations, to welcome ol' Santa.
Ah! Christmas season in all earthly splendor!

The rush for the best tree to be adorned,
In lights and stars and twinkling shimmer.
The 'shopping till we drop' sessions at large,
The oodles of chocolates and fruit cakes,
The many odd Santas dressed in red and white.
Indeed, a time to relish and cherish, ever!

The gifts well packed, placed beneath the tree,
The largest of the socks, neatly unfolded,
Lay hung, beside the many bed rests, in awe,
Hoping to be filled to the brim, a year's rewards,
For being good, kind and perfect to the hilt.
Indeed, a night of sleepless fervor, delightful.

All the folks on the hunt, for that very one-
The perfect turkey, to be stuffed with all joy,
Cookies and brownies, wine and the perfect dine.
Prayers of being and doing good, for one and all,
Saviour's sacrifices remembered in deepest respects,
A new Christmas, in all spirit and purity of being.

Tonight, as I sit back reading this special ode,
A drop of tear drops down, and I find myself,
Go back to being me, pure and blemishless,
As that little girl, on the Christmas eve, years ago...

Glassy Silhouette...








The very long time of being together,

Wild youth and cherished memories,
The rapturous joys, twinkling over,
The days that stretched into sheer bliss,
And nights ending in eternal flames,
Toppings of the golden sun rising.
Indeed, bygone days, ever charismatic!

The trivial clashes of opinions many,
The daily trifles ever so bitter sweet,
Pillow fights, flakes of cotton fluffy,
Scattered all over our crumpled beds,
A million dreams sprinkled, in them.
Waking up together with sheepish grins,
Battles of overnight, forgotten in ease!

Now, as I sit alone, in the very same room,
Re-living those days, I wonder stark,
What really did go wrong, was it you,
Or was it me? Not that it matters now.
Yet, I ponder day and night, moments galore,
When did things take a headlong turn,
Moving ourselves apart? A creek growing.

Memories flood me, as I wake up alone,
They surround me in my every move.
Engulfed by the vacuous depth, of despair,
I sit back, trying to frame the lost thoughts,
Placing each word uttered, retracing each step.
And in the wake of every new dawn, I cry out loud,
For I see a glassy silhouette shattered, in my dreams..

Couplet Fever!!!

Beauty






Gasps uttered, in sheer awe, mesmerized,
Glimpses transfixed, smiles pouring, in marvel- Ah! Beautiful!




Grotesque








Startling view, disfigured hues, terrifying,
Unattractive demeanor, looking down in contempt- Oh! Disgusting!




Angelic








Ethereal charms, striking, astral glow shining,
Spreading joy and subtle love, ever seraphic soul- Ah! Virtuous!

Wednesday 19 December 2007

Her Reflection...








Her luscious petal lips,

Shades of darkest red,
Alluring.

Shimmery, they shone,
Vine red ebbing,
Delicious.

Gentle quivers, so coy,
Enigmatic a smile,
Captivating.

Leaving her tantalizing lips,
My gaze moved on,
To her eyes.

Expecting lustrous deep eyes,
Twinkling with life,
I felt let down.

Her eyes, and her prosaic gaze,
They spoke volumes,
In silence.

And I realized, in sheer hypnosis-
Its her eyes which haunt,
Her hazel eyes.

My gaze never left hers,
All the while, watching,
From across the mirror-

Intoxicating.

Sunday 16 December 2007

I'm Game...


"Hey, Skipper,
Ready for the toss? "

And the toss it is.
Heads or tails-
The call.

"Heads,"
I answer,
Confidence oozing.

Hopping along, toss won,
My team, in full throttle.
All vigor and zeal,
My eleven had their deal.

Out to bat,
I sent my men,
Fire in their eyes,
Determination shining.

Boundary
At the very first ball.
Shouts and hoots,
In the air.

Running between the wickets,
My opener had a fall,
A run out called,
Desperation blooming.

A pat on his shoulder,
And I adorned my role,
Off to the field to bat,
I had to lead the way, all through.

Playing safe, we went on,
At twenty seven,
He struck me out.
Frustration boiling,
I left the field.

All out for 67,
My team and me,
We sat, pondering.
Planning our tactics,
And all geared up,
We spread out,
The field was ours.

The match zoomed on,
Wickets at overs 4,6 and 10.
It gave us the lead,
And we followed the cruise,
Battered and beaten,
The rivals bowed down.

New champions, of the land,
We adorned our title in glee.
Holding the cup in hand,
I gave my golden speech.

Celebrations!

All cheered in joy,
Along with my team,
I marched onto my house.

Eleven muddy faces,
Soiled clothes and greasy toes,
We stood grinning,
Waiting at the doors.

Opened the door,
My grandma stared at us in disgust,
Me and my gang of guys,
All aged at nine and ten.

"You are impossible,"
She heaves in despair,
And zoom, we run,
Into the house,
Muddy trails, following us galore!

Celebration time!!!!!

In All Love...






Time seems to have reached a standstill,

You and me,
Together, stoic.

Reflections that shine,
Perfection to the brim,
Touches that melt,
In our gaze.

Now, off the sudden,
I find us blur away,
The placid water turning murky.

The ripples anew,
And the fading reflections
- Ours.

I turn to look at you,
And I find the trail,
Of a drop of tear,
Across your face,
Stark.

And I find myself,
Embedded,
In your eyes,
Glowing.

And now, I know,
No reflection could ever be,
As true, as those I find,
In you eyes,
In all love.

In all love-
Together-
Us!

An Eye's Cry...







Walking along the paths,
Traversed by the many,
I take this time,
To stop,
And let my thoughts,
Wander endlessly,
In all calm.

Today, as I look up,
At the bright green skies,
Clouds of pink,
Scattered,
All across,
In all its beauty;
I see them all.

The luscious red meadows,
And the blue of sprouts,
I bend down,
Taking up a pretty flower,
Brilliant hue of brown,
It shone, in all splendor,
Fragrant little flower.

The winds gushing through,
Strands of my purple hair,
Flowing, in the breeze,
And I feel so cool.
The calm of night,
Astral yellow hue setting in,
To dip into deep slumber.

Sifting through,
The mesh of my thoughts,
I regain my senses.
Wandering thoughts, a fantasy,
Of seeing the world,
In my own hues,
My own strokes of imagination wild.

Coloring the paintings unknown,
I walk on, amidst the masses,
A crowd ever oblivious,
To the blind cry of mine,
Ever insensate,
To an eye's cry,
My eye's cry.

Thursday 13 December 2007

At The Altar


White satin gown, crystals in shine,
She stood waiting at the altar, in her veil,
And he came in too, she was told.
People moving, shielding her view,
"Where is he?" she asked in concern.
"Oh! He's here my child,
Safely tucked, in all protection"
Replied the best man, in his finest suit,
And moving away, teary eyed, he gave her her view.
It was then, that she saw his coffin, stark.

Droplets Of Love...








Waiting for him,
I stood, a very long time.
No glimpse of him yet,
And I felt myself,
Fight back my tears.

The day seemed,
To have come to a still.
I turned back home,
Anguish welling in,
A hope thwarted early.

And then, I felt a chill,
Shivers down my spine,
A gentle touch,
On my supple skin, soft.
A kiss soft, yet wet.

I looked on, in glee,
My whole body melted,
In his touch.
Cooling me off my ardor,
Droplets of his love.

Drenched to the core,
Basking in his love,
Purified by his touch,
I stood, smiling.
The first monsoon shower had struck!!!!

Sutured








Tip-toeing into me,
He came in,
A gentle subtle entry.

And, I held my breath,
Afraid to lose him,
If I sigh out.

Gentle, ever so gentle,
He put in an incision,
Fingers moving swift,
He cut me open,
And peered in,
Stark.

I watched his eyes,
Open in awe,
Sheer surprise.

I felt my breath,
Catch at my throat,
As he gently moved in.

I felt a stab.
Off the sudden,
A haul at me,
Probing deep,
And I wished, he'd stop.

Everything felt like a haze,
Foggy, in my own eyes,
And I slipped away,
Giving up myself,
To him.

And now,
As I open my eyes,
After what seems like ages,
I can feel me,
Sutured up,
Scarred for life.

O' why did I never know,
You'd scar me,
With your love?

My Abeyant Thoughts









I walk along a single thread,

An invisible strand,
Tangled.

The strand of my being.

Time seems at abundance,
A wait for me,
Perpetual.

The ambiguity staring on at me.

I try to balance myself,
On my toes,
Poised.

The ultimate ease of polish.

Penetrating gazes, into me,
I try to focus,
Impervious.

The detachment shining on at them.

Voices sing out aloud at me,
I shut myself off,
Insensate.

The inevitable, yet seemed so nebulous.

Waiting for the murky waters to clear,
I stay on the strand,
Quiescent.

Just wishing for no breeze, to hurl me, off my stand.

Tuesday 11 December 2007

A Heart's Fate!


Tossed out,
Into the open,

I'd stand, weary.


He'd hold me in his sleeves;
Throw me away,
A random toss.


Fed up,

Of being hurled,
I'd give myself,
A javelin lurch!


Sometimes, I'd get a raise,
Someone would come, whispering soft.
A note of love, a touch soft,
And I'd tremble, in ecstasy.
Smiling, I'd give myself to the touch,
Playing a melodious hymn,
Just for the stroke of love, blessed!

But alas, I'd find gentle pricks,
Spots of darkest red,
Dripping bruises, ink oozing.

He'd cry for me,
And I'd feel, i can live the pain,

And try again, to be on my own.
Together, he and me,

We'd move on,
Broken, yet reviving ourselves.

And then,
Off the sudden,
Another brilliant stroke.


Again, leaping joy,
Mounting in me, afresh.

He'd toss me again,
And I'd sway along in glee,
Playing a different tune, a new symphony.

Wonder if it's just my fate,
Skipping and hopping,
Smiling and crying,

Whining and pining,

Singing and dancing,

Breaking and mending.

Sigh!!


Give me a life!
O' fate, give me a life!

Monday 10 December 2007

Mystic Tinkles!









Tinkles!


I did hear,
The mystic chant.

Gentle overture,
Of soulful music,
A hymn,
A note.

Tinkles!

Senses,
Geared up,
In a search, frantic.

And,
Finally,
Along the many consolations,
I offered myself-
I noticed!

Tinkles,

The ballad,
That my anklets sang,
With every move of mine!




Sunday 9 December 2007

Poisoned


Confined, held up,
Handcuffed in his rage,
I lay, terrified,
Crumpling under his gaze.

Why?

No answer pops out.

Why? Oh, why?

I still feel vague.

Wondering,
Along the strands,
Of time,
Along the days,
Of mirth,
I reach a point,
Of no return.
I wonder,
Where did you,
Take the turn?

Where?

It's all foggy, still.

Looking,
Into your eyes,
I find no clue.
A masquerade,
Of emotions,
You play your part well.
You ain't any amateur,
I know.

Yet, why?

I ponder on.

Why?

Why?

Why am I being poisoned,
With love? Oh, Why?

Tuesday 4 December 2007

uNvEiL mE


Fluttering heart,
Inundated mounts,
Of desire,
Seeping in.

You,
Soak in milky dreams,
Ever so white,
Leaving me dripping wet.

And then,
You hold my gaze,
In your eyes,
And I wait, an incessant wait.

Molten,
Tears carved out,
Droplets of beauty,
You try to rain out of me.

Every time I wish to live,
Your dreams fade before daybreak,
As you draw the curtains.
And I see myself awake.

And,
I stare, teary eyed,
From across the veil,
Wondering.

You,
Belong to me.
Yet, I long to light you up,
Just once, in all love.

Unveil me, o' love,
Unveil me, in you.
Unveil me,
Just this once...


Bubbles









The very gentle breeze,
Laden with the fragrance,
Of young new blossoms;

It blew on, soft a gale,
And I tried hard to smoothen,

My flying black locks!

The beauty of today,

Reflects in my eyes.

The youth of life,

Ebbs in my each heartbeat.

Life is indeed beautiful.

Every little step I take,
Bubbles of dreamy desires,

They swell in me.

And I walk on, barefoot,

As if along petal soft a path,
Following the trail of bubbles.

Bubbles of my dreams,

Fresh,
Glazing,

Tender

And, ever so mine!!!!!

Tuesday 27 November 2007

Early Morning Ramblings...









A collage of emotions,

How would that sound?
Early morn, just out of bed,
Strewing a dream together,
Parchments frayed in the slumber,
Threads missing, shady hues,
I try hard to collect them all,
And string them together,
A single frame, a single collage!

But I fail, miserably so,
To place myself in the maze,
Lost am I, in this haze?
Or is it, a simple race,
I wish to lose, all way through?
Morning ramblings, I try to tell myself,
Meaningless words, time wasted,
I walk off to make a mug of hot coffee.

Sipping the coffee, steam spreading warmth,
I sit down again, a second try,
To place myself, in my collage.
Yet, everything seems so clueless,
No connections, no sharp edges,
To join them up, no continuity,
And I sit and try, and try, again,
To finally dip away into a new dream,
A new fantasy, a new reality,
And try the same again, a new morn,
A new aim and some new ramblings to follow.

Sunday 11 November 2007

Virgin Earth










Dreamy clouds of a brilliant white,
Crowding in, ah! a delightful sight.
All above the lush earthen lands,
They line away, a blanket soft,
Tender touches, cooling warmth,
Smoothest cloaks, of love and care!

The earth stood in all her glory,
Beauty of a young bride in view,
She held her green drapes close,
Bejeweled in blossoms so colorful.
With nights basked in ebony black,
A virgin bride, blooming with life!

The many daybreaks she witnessed,
In the long run, a transition stark,
Virginity bequeathed, she languished
Pawed by cruel hands, wounds gawk
Ripping her off existence, losing it all,
Vanishing safety blanket - ozone lost!

Just a moment...









Aloof, alone, he comes,
Striking you hard,
A swift blow,
And, staggering, you fall.

His club, pounds,
Just too hard,
And, you hold back,
In sheer shock.

His firece ruthlessness,
It freezes the pain,
Spell bound, you stay,
Breathing heavy.

His savage attack goes on,
A moment stretching into eternity,
Leaving you hollow, beaten.
And, you remain in a mystic daze.

Then comes the aftermath,
A calm, deafening silence,
And you wake, unscathed, untouched,
Yet never the same, never ever the same.

And he walks on, smiling,
How a single moment can change your life!!!!!!!

You and me...









Last night I had a dream,
You and me,
Together, walking,
Hand in hand.

The emerald green of the oceans,
Inviting.
The blue carpet of the cloudy sky,
Alluring.
The coolest breeze of love,
Flowing through us.
Words were not spoken out loud,
Just silence spoke,
A million words.

You and me,
Eyes locked,
Hands entwined,
Dreams shared,
Promises lived,
We walked on, and on.

Our footprints, washed away,
Yet traces of ours, still fresh,
Lingering on,
In every droplet of the sea,
every fluffy little cloud,
Every puff of the gale,
Every ounce of life,
You and me...

And, I woke up, dreamy eyed,
To find you, right beside.
You and me...

Saturday 10 November 2007

My Love :)








Love is,
when you look into my eyes deep,
And slip away into the depths.
when you hold my hands in yours,
And squeeze them ever so gentle.
when you kiss the tip of my nose,
And tell me I taste real good.
when you bite my nails for me,
And say you love me so very dear.
when you pinch me ever so slight,
And not let my attention waver away.
when you smile into me, eyes twinkling,
And say you could never be more happy.
when you wink at me, amidst the crowds,
And make my knees go wobbly weak.
when you protect my vulnerable self,
And say i could never be more pretty.
when your eyes go wet, in anguish,
And you try to smile, waving a bye.
when you think about, just me, all journey,
And long for being together, again.
when you are with me, in me, all over me,
And you wish never ever to leave :)

Sunday 4 November 2007

Love, scars!








Eyes that shine in loving radiance,
Souls that sing and merge in mirth,
The many smiles, shared along in glee,
An ocean of expanse, love lunges on,
Drowning you along, in its dance!

Eyes that fail to betray the contempt,
Helpless you, wondering why love fails,
Unrequited be it, or even broken, shattered,
It plays its music, ever lingering, in you,
Dragging you, smoky eyed, into its depth!

Smiling joyous love, shared pleasure,
Yet, it does scar your soul, a sweet scar, cherished!

Unrequited, or, even a long lost love,
It does scar your soul, a deep raw scar, etched!

Illusion









Corner to corner,
My eyes searched,
Frantically,
For you.
Amidst the crowds,
I found faces many.
Some smiling,
Some mocking,
Some sad,
Some not bothered,
Faces unknown,
Expressions many,
But nowhere, I found you.
My mind started framing,
Reasons many,
Thoughts turned grave,
Terrorizing me,
I felt my chest laden,
In fright, anew.
Sweat broke out,
In beads,
Voice choking,
Tears threatening,
To befall,
I ran around,
Looking for you, all over.
Heartbeats raced on,
A frenzy.
I tried hard to look over,
For a glimpse, of you.
And then, off the distance,
I found you,
My heart gave a leap,
I paved my way to you,
Smiles intermingled,
With fresh tears.
And, I reached near you,
I held out my arms,
To touch you.
Alas! You vanished,
Into the thin smoke,
On a single touch of mine.
And I stood, paralysed in fear,
Gripped by guilt.
Oh, where did you go?
Ohh...Where did you go?
Ohhh... Where did you go?

Dinner Nightmare!








Nervous eyes,
Fluttering heart,
Bated breath,
I held on to my being.

Smiles plastered,
Conversation hard,
Interrogation stark,
I tried to live through.

Warmth lacking,
Affection strained,
Eyes scrutinizing,
I felt naked, stripped.

Food untouched,
Stolen glimpses,
For reaffirmation,
I looked at him, in faith.

Final verdict,
Sweat profuse,
anxiety of torture,
Finally,a nod, in consent.

I never did know,
Meeting his parents,
Would be this hard.
Phew! a nightmare, done with!!!

Saturday 3 November 2007

Kissing Till Dizzy ;)







I felt butterflies in my tummy,
As I held my gaze, straight,
Piercing into his, melting.
A naughty smile played on,
At the corner of his lips, soft.
I felt my self blush, beet red,
In anticipation, or is it desire?

I felt my eyes, shy away,
Refusing to lock glances again,
And words fumbled out of me,
A vehement try to shift the scenario.
His coal black eyes winked at me,
And I felt myself smile back, so coy,
Sharing the twinkling smile of my eyes.

I never noticed, us being so close,
His breath grazed at my soft skin,
And I felt his musk, my heads spinning.
My eyes dipped into his loving eyes,
And I felt myself lost, hypnotised, sinking.
Love, radiating from his eyes, seeped into me,
Gyrating in mine, whirlpools of desire.

Ever so gentle, his lips touched mine,
Petal soft, the tender touch, the loving feel.
Gentling pulling at my lips, tugging on,
I felt his breath warming my soul, deep,
And I felt my knees go wobbly, magnetised,
Boring into his eyes, I felt myself slip away,
And I felt dizzy, so dizzy, falling in deep, into oblivion.

My hapless love...



















I stood, hapless,
The morning rays stinging my eyes.
Tear drops falling,
Trailing down,
And you smiled away in such ease.
Never did you know,
Nor will you know,
I bleed, profuse,
From my soul many layered in hurt.
And with each peel,
Of the sweet ache,
Tears run down, my tears of love.
Watching you,
Smiling at me special,
I realize i can live through this pain.
For you, with you,
I can cross the deserts,
And fight the storms,
My hapless hopes,
My helpless love...

Thursday 1 November 2007

Is The Moon Shy?










The night queen, the moon so bright,
She looked, so very white, radiant.
Shining like the many ocean pearls,
An astral glow, ever so petal soft,
A heavenly bloom, she did shine.

The sun, the ever magnificent,
He stood so very high, smiling.
He held his power, in his eyes,
Burning brilliant flames of light,
Warmth spreading, each new day.

The darkest of the rain clouds,
One fine eve, they did hide the sun,
Shedding no light, not any warmth.
And from the shining cozy abode,
Peek in, did the moon, so early.

The sun held his head high,
Proud and smug, he stood mighty.
The moon looked at him, twinkling eyes.
Wanting to be looked upon in awe,
They both tried to show off their glow.

The moon, she bowed to the sun,
Sleek glances, ever so soft, smiling.
A demand , stark, she put forth,
Asking for her light, to be shone,
All day through, not just at night.

The sun looked at her, eyes narrowed,
Contempt it exemplified, not grace.
" O' li'll one, how could you, demand of me,
such a deed, when all world knows it true,
I am the king, of the day! O' how could you?"

Moon winced, on hearing the note,
And she felt betrayed, by her love.
Cross at the sun, she decided to act,
And lo! She does eclipse the sun,
Coming in between the earth and the sun.

The haughty sun, he shivers in anger,
Fuming rage, to devour the tiny moon,
He moved away swift, a transition stark,
Sun takes his revenge, over the moon,
By having a lunar eclipse, blocking it, so crude!

The moon felt so shy, off the sudden,
For, she lost her face, no means to glow,
Sad to show, the remaining shine, to the earth.
And, she smiled, ever so faint, at her love,
The sun held her gaze, a gentle smile flashing,

He asked, " O' my moon, are you shy tonight?"

Artistic Canvas!










The darkest canvas, painted coal black,
Sprinkles of silvery droplets striking it,
Shining lustre it shed, in the ebony dark.
I held my brush, dipped in orange red,
Strokes of a morning dawn fresh, blooming.
The crinkled corners of the canvas shone,
In a brilliant astral morning glow, yellow tinges.
Strokes afresh touched the canvas, anew,
Tender strokes, of green hues and blue skies,
It fulfilled artistic fantasies of mine, so dear.
And, i held onto the canvas, reddish black dusk,
Setting in, merging with the pitch dark night.
I held the canvas in my hand, observing it keen,
Transitions stark, and yet, it lacked the glow,
The sparkling gleam of the eternal hue...

Monday 29 October 2007

Minutes Or Hours?

The night seemed so very cold,
I felt, frost, settle over me.
I tossed and turned, in pain,
Numb and sore,a distraught me.

I felt, I heard,
Questions anew.

I tried to focus,
On the speech, soft.

I felt a pull,
At my heart strings,
Asking me,
To choose-

Minutes or Hours,
To live, a lifetime.

I felt my life ebb away,
And all I could see-
Your image,
All over me.

And, I answered,
Through trembling lips-

- a glimpse!

A Dreamy Slumber...








Dewy drops,
of a fresh ray-
It hit me hard,
right at my eyes,
and, I had to,
shield myself,
from the light,
ever so bright.

I looked out,
through the corner,
of my eyes,
and I saw,
his face.
Gentle, smiling,
he stood,
waiting, for me.

I rushed in,
no barriers,
to stop me.
I felt myself calm,
in the warmth,
of his arms.
I felt my breath halt.

And I slipped in,
into a slumber,
of life,
of dreams,
of eternal smiles...

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?








Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Exquisitve carvings,
Of untamed feelings,
Draped in silken thoughts,
Dipped in golden hues,
Performing a dancing frenzy.

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Pulling me, here and there,
Sometimes, smiles play a share,
At times, sorrows crowd in,
And tears threaten to rain away,
I feel feelings running amock.

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

A pull at my heart strings,
And I feel myself treading along.
A new feeling ruptures from nowhere,
Senses paralleled, thoughts immense,
Wonder where do feelings hide?

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

A new fair thought crosses my mind,
And I smile, to be shaken, yet again,
By a new thought. Anxiety blooms in,
Giving way to crowds of newer feelings,
I feel myself pulled along directions, amany.

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Wonder if I could ever remain stay put,
Without being trodden on, by thoughts.
Attacking my senses, reigning over me,
Making me lose the sense of direction,
Yet, propelling my life forwards- Feelings!

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Monday 22 October 2007

The Green Leaves







Amidst the dreary grey shades
Of life, I found a sight ever pretty
Green leaves shining bright
And I walked in, in sheer delight!

The tender blades of greenish hue
Swaying along the breeze so new
I looked at it, caution in my mind
I peeped in, to note any edges sharp!

The leaves shook itself ever so light
A rhythm divine it danced in my mind
Drops of dew splashed over me
Drenching me in a love so pure!

Time was at my calling, I had to leave
With promises to myself, that I'd be back
I did abide my vows, and solemnly back
And the green leaves swayed in welcome!

Luscious green it reflected even in the dark
Profound knowledge it imparted into me
Lessons of wisdom, of care, of selfless love
And I felt myself cuddling along, in glee!

Rains came by, i saw the marvel of life
Of sprouts-imagination at its peak soar
And I smiled along, singing a rain song
Loving the feel, the cool feel in the rains!

Evergreen, the term struck me true
For I have never seen the leaves droop
Not in fatigue, nor in any despair
Ever smiling grace, I felt myself imbibe it all!

Many a nights, I awoke in stark fright
Dreaming of the lush green gardens
Glowing, yet without the green leaves
And my soul weeps in the mere thought of it so!

the green leaves still sways on, charming me
and i wish for the dance to go on for ever
earnest desires in me, long for keeping you
alive, even after i move on in life-in me, for me!!!!!

An aura of love, my mom...









Hip-hop,rock; I don't know the genre
I hear the beats,fast and tiring
The music blaring as if in a rage
Headache soaring and i flee away!

Walking away from the party deck
I end up in my room a few doors left
The calmest of spots i ever knew,
And my bed so cozy and warm!

Pondering on the party tonight,so new
Thrown by my son,at the garage below
And i cant fathom the thrill i see
In all the youth,dancing in glee!

I long to ask,is it indeed music you play,
And the clothes you wear,or don't you wear,
I don't know the fashion trends each day
Yet i wonder hard,is this all left to hope for?

I tried to plan and plot many a time anew
A lecture for you to hear,about new times
And then i wonder am i too old,too ancient
That maybe i should let you to live!

Fear grips me with every roar of your joy
For each shattering china of mine, i silently wince
Birthday bash i accept,my dear one,i accede
But why crashing glasswares that i do adore?

An old nosy lady,all brittle and sore
With an eye to pick at my faults unknown
Wonder how often my son would have said
These very words i once quipped,about my mom

Tears flow down never in her name anymore
Memories so fond buried so deep down in me
Now as i see my son grow distant from me
I realize your words of love and care...

I get up from my bed and walk away from home,
From scents of tobacco and cans of beer around
I walk down the lonely highway,to miles unseen
To reach the one spot,i vowed never again to see

Kneeling down on the cozy carpet of green moss,
Hands bowed as in deep prayers melting me,
Respect and love as never before in my eyes,
I saw my mom in a light so new...an aura of love...

Vacuum...










When life seems to go no where,
When everything seems to be still,
When everyone seems to smile
And you are just the one in tears,
When the path you under take
Seems to reach just dead ends,
When your well nurtured little plant
Seems to wilt despite your care,
When your pet seems to be groggy
Even after all the care and love,
When your favorite friend seems
To have changed into a backstabber,
When your parents seem to bicker
In front of you and your siblings,
When you find the newspapers
Screaming of the brutal rape of a girl,
When you find your friend in a fix
However you try he's still in a fix,
When nothing nothing seems to go right,
When all your hopes fall in as ashes,
When all your purpose of living fails
Into heaps of emotions devouring you,
When you find no ray of hope ever,
When you find a stranger in your mirror...

Then...you'll know what I go through
Today, right here, in the midst of all
I feel the hollow devouring me,
Oh, I fall, prey to the despair,a vacuum
Of having nothing despite having it all...

Soul's Symphony...










A special tune, I did hear,
From across the expanse,
The stretch of vicinity, a blurr.
It sang to me, a note,
Familiar, and ever so much,
Yet, I seem not able, to place it.

The humming seems to grow fainter,
And I feel myself in anguish,
Of having to let go, without a try,
To delve into the notes,
The music of my very soul,
Playing, in sync with the tune.

Ever quaint, I felt the symphony,
Yet, it pulled, at my heart strings,
And I realised, I have heard the note,
Once before, or is it often, I wonder.
A drop of tear, runs down my cheeks,
As I sing along, reminiscing of your old song...

Wednesday 17 October 2007

Love Talk










'Let me in, ohh, let me in please', he urged,
'No, no', she tossed and turned, shying away.
'Its been hours, i can't stay back', he coaxed,
Gently, she welcomed him in, still half asleep.
A warm caress, he offered her, in sheer delight,
As she opened the curtain binds, to let the sundrops in!!!

The yellow feathers...










I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

I felt the sun, shine so bright,
So bright, that my eyes ached,
And, i shielded my eyes.

The brilliant white clouds, fluffy,
And the pretty morning sky, blue,
Yet, basking in a sunny glow.

I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

I held my head up, call it my pride,
Or be it my inquisitive mind,
For, I wanted to hold onto the feather.

I held my hands, above my head,
Standing on my toes, eager,
For, the breeze suddenly swung at me.

I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

My hands seem to be so near,
A touch, a faint scratch at its base,
And, I held it in my palms, the yellow feather.

Smiling, I held the feather, in the light,
Watching its beauty, planning its plight,
Deciding on its fate, to adorn my diary, bright.

I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

Penning down, these very words, tonight,
I can't help, but wonder, about the sad destiny,
Of the bird, who lost its wings, the yellow feathers.

As I hold the yellow feathers in my palms, tonight,
I wish to let go, to let it soar, into the vast sapphire blue,
To let it breathe, and fly again, dreams held in each barbule ...

Tale of an angel... (inspired)









There lived an angel, in god's own abode
He loved the luscious green pathways,
The gushing streams, of aqua, so holy,
The golden dangling stars, glittering ever,
The zephyr refreshing, a melody soothing,
He loved his condo, he loved to be a cherub!

One fine morn, he awoke from his daydream,
Ordered by his guardian, he set off, a new job.
Off, he flew, above the emerald green oceans,
Across the valleys, filled with greens and reds,
Flowers and fruits, all nectar oozing delights,
smiling, he went on, in pursuit of his mission!

Off the sudden, he saw a stirring, in the lake,
The crystal clear waters, and he saw a maiden,
Beautiful than the angels, he knew; fair as snow,
Her eyes danced in a murderous innocence,
Sculpted in perfection, she stood near the shores,
And the seraph, he just gazed at her awe-struck!

He forgot his mission deep, and embarked alone,
A journey new, in search of her, as if in a trance.
She smiled over at him, surprise mingled with fear,
Her inquisitive eyes probed, and the angel just stared,
At her marvellous beauty, and he wished to stay on,
To be with her, to live a life, to hold her, and to love.

She welcomed him, to her world, ever so pure,
Gentle smiles, words of love, a heart of gold,
She offered him, her abode, in sheer mirth, all joys,
He walked along, hand in hand, mesmerized,
The magic of love, enchanting him, melting him,
And, he stayed on, his own crib, lay forgotten!

The thunder echoed hard, rains began to lash on,
Lightening struck, patterns of brilliance, in the sky,
And then, he heard his call, the voice that boomed,
Calling his cherub back, to his abode, of heavenly bliss.
He knew he had to fly back, for spirit to thrive, alive.
Yet, he knew, he wouldn't leave her, not today, not ever.

Despair filled his eyes, his soul burning its elixir,
He looked deep, into her innocent, crystal blue eyes,
And, he could see, the expanse of the skies, in them.
Yet, marred with darkened clouds, waiting to rain away,
He looked at her crimson cheeks and her ebony locks.
Helpless, he stood, waiting, for the unknown...

She smiled at him, and held him near, offering her warmth,
The world seemed non existent, it mattered no more,
He held her close, a gentle kiss, on her petal pink lips,
Their bodies enmeshed, entwined;watched over by the skies,
They rained away their love, amidst the nature showers,
And, eternity seemed to lull, before their very eyes...

The rain clouds gave way, to the scorching sun,
And he felt, his skin burn, blistering hot, molten pain,
And, he realised the pangs, his punishment had begun.
His throat so dry, his feet blistered, skin melting,
Dry heat, flashing all over him, pain lynching at him,
And, she watched over, helpless, tortured by his pains...

The thunder struck hard, echoes uprooting even trees,
The storm grew fierce, yet, he felt his body burn away,
Broiling flames of heat, he felt himself char away,
Her eyes seemed shut, by the winds so fierce, blocking view,
And then! The deafening calm, aftermath of a love so pure,
She lay on the sandy earth, her eyes searching for him, in vain...

Enchanting Beauty...

Ever felt, the world,
Toppling, all over you?

The feeling, of relentless pain,
Of misery, and grave suffering,
For no reason, you can fathom,
And, you feel, persnickety in despair.

Ever felt, the world,
Crashing, all over you?

The umpteen instances,
When every single thing in life,
Went just so right, picture perfect,
And, off the sudden, hell breaks loose.

Ever felt, your whole existence,
Shrink away, into oblivion?

The world, moving on, in a frenzy,
And, you stay stunned, into silence,
The crowd seems to bustle, all around,
And yet, never before, have you felt, as lonely.

If at all, you have gone through, any of these,
Then, you know, what it means to be alive,
For life is enchantingly beautiful, a celebration,
And, we got to pay, for being so lucky, to be here, alive...!

Voyeuristic view







Obsessive observer, of sordid sensuality
The glimpses, of freshly uncovered flesh,
Attaining, sheer, sexual gratification,
By being a peeping tom, a voyeur.

The pursuits of stealth and guise,
Desire, for verboten intimate pleasures,
Hiding behind the unexpected of places,
Anticipation; heart pounding, in immoral joys.

The sharpest eyes, that shine in lust,
Secretive glimpses, unattainable desires,
The gravest greed, for the forbidden fruit,
Disgusting joys, inhumane erotic pleasures.

Scoptophilic gusto, greater than ecstasy,
Wonder, how could one's mind, go astray,
Distorted fantasies, ruining faith in humanity,
Wonder why, one gets into voyeuristic pursuits...

...I wonder, why?

Sunday 14 October 2007

Nightly Halo...



Night shades, and your halo,
Always made me smile, in glee.
Tonight, I see the nightly hue,
Yet, I find no halo, no shine.

And I wonder,
is it my eyes, failing me,
Or is it you, failing me?

Penance...








Paying for my smiles-
Never did I realize,
Of such a possibility , ever.

Paying for my words-
Never did I fathom,
Words would cost, so dear.

Paying for my tears-
Never did I know,
Each drop would count, so.

Paying for my blessings-
Never did I ponder,
Am being watched over, stark.

Paying for you-
Never did I grasp,
Not everyone gets to be this lucky.

Saturday 13 October 2007

My Homing Pigeon...








Capricious desires, of an infatuated soul,
Is it? I wonder, still.
I wish to hold onto him,
As though, there is no tomorrow.
Would you call it sleazy a thought,
I cant help, but ponder.

I just wish, to offer him my soul,
Loving him, more than ever,
Suffocating him, with my love,
Encompassing him, within my wings,
No living power, to separate him, from me, ever.

Would you term me, pertinacious,
Just because I pay no heed, to you?
I can't share him, with the world,
For, he is mine, and I need him so.
Possessiveness, is it, to wish my love,
Near me, ever and forever?

I promise, to let him be.
I wish, to help him nurture his dreams,
And reach heights, a flight for glory.
All I ask in favour, is the freedom, to pry open,
And read his soul, every thought, every dream.

Would you call me, mulish,
For just being so concerned?
I can't accept these terms of adorn,
For all I wish for, is my love, to be near,
No spare thought, in his mind, unknown to me,
No dream, no fantasy, without me, playing a part.

I am not cruel minded, nor am I relentless,
All I ask is some time, or rather, all his time, for me.
Is it that bad, I wonder, to wish for him,
To dream of him, as just mine, my homing pigeon?
Just to make sure, I can love him so, ever and forever.

Oh, please tell me, if I am wrong, if I am irrational in thoughts,
when all I wish, is to love him so... to love him so...
 

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