Beloved memories...

I feel myself shrink,
Shrink away, into oblivion.
Guilt pangs striking at me,
Lapping me up, in its whirl.

Years ago, I had cried,
My soul out, in despair,
At losing you, my love,
To death, to eternal flames.

I had felt so deep,
The pain, ever gnawing at me,
Gashes deep, in my heart,
Raw, even ages after.

I had never known,
That a day would come,
When your existence,
Would seem translucent.

A faded silhouette,yours,
I could never fathom to be.
But tonight as I ponder on,
I find yourself so far, faraway.

The day you left me, forever,
I had believed, I'd never ever forget,
The very day, ever in my life,
A dark day, heart wrenching.

And yet, as I woke up today morn,
I smiled ,and I felt fresh as ever,
Oblivious to the date, the one day,
I'd vouched to never forget.

But alas! I did forget,
Faded away into the flimsy layers,
Of life's many terrains,
You have wandered away, so far away.

And all I feel is despair,
A vacuum, self hatred and pain,
Of having forgotten,
Having let you, dim away.

But as I sit down, savoring memoirs,
Of what seems eons ago,
I find the very same feeling,
Of love, of care, of belonging.

And I realize, despite the faded aura,
And all the worldly influences,
Despite the circle around me today,
You still, live on, in me.

Dormant love, I realize,
As I hold back onto the memories,
And I am glad, today, i feel you, in all love,
Not as painful reveries, but as beloved memories...