Life's First Lesson

But, why?
You ask me,
Out of the blue-
And I sit back,
Framing an answer,
Acceptable.

It could be this,
Or even that-
I quip,
Helpless,
Sighing defeat.

Your eyes open wide,
In sheer awe.
Yet, an all-knowing smile
Flashes by.
Or a mirage,
Was it?

The age old wisdom
Of understanding
One's shortcomings,
And even more-
In accepting them,
With unquestioning faith,
And a shrug-

Character.
(It never rusts!)

Smiling,
I pull my little one over,
Onto my lap-
And all the questions
Forgotten-
Together,
We learnt
Our life's first lesson-

Imperfection.
(It never dies!)

Why does it feel like yesterday?

Why does it feel like yesterday,
Even today,
When life has changed its pace
And I have changed direction?
Why does it feel so right,
When I come across you-
No retractable words of yesterdays,
No gullible memories shared-
Yet, I feel you-
In every nod, every sigh.
Hapless,
My heart skips a bit,
Even today.

Time has guided my every step,
The melancholy hymns, I let go.
Life called for me,
And I let go, of all-
And gave in myself,
To destiny's toss.

Barely, had I learnt to trace my steps,
Once again-
Right from the start,
When you came in,
Fresh as a breeze-
And knocked me off-
Just as ever.
Not a moment of silence,
No awkwardness-
Just emotions gushing forth,
That we strain to hide
And suppress-
Inevitable,
Yet-
I realize that loss,
All over again.

Smiling,
We bid farewell-
So long.
And I wonder,
Why does it feel like yesterday?

December Chills

The night never slept.
It sat, unblinking, in watch-
As the chilled winds blew
All over,
Hurling the warmth of love out-
A toss.

On the earthen floor damp,
With no traces of comfort inviting,
She sat-
Shivers ran through her body-
Numb,
Frostbitten.

He held her in his arms,
Pouring in his body heat-
Blissful warmth,
Shared in the ultimate throes-
Of naked intimacy.

The fire never woke up-
The December chills never left them alone.
And as the night slept away,
They made love-
A frenzied coupling,
For life-
For sustenance.

As the morn spread her shine-
She bid him a silent goodbye,
And walked away-
To find her kin.

A moment near to death, salvaged,
And the next, she set out-
To find life.
.
.
.
And he slept on-
Breathless.

Not all who wander are lost

Not all who wander are lost-
Heard the note, once-
And sat back,
Pondering.

The pretense of wisdom,
And knowledge-
Strained, it falls short
When it matters most,
In all essentiality.
And thwarted-
In self worth,
It gains rust-
Distasteful.

The ignorance urges-
To budge.
Despite the lack of clarity,
Of senses, the random path
Allures-
Gathering no moss,
The pebble rolls,
Oblivious
Of a cliff-
Or a dead end.

Yet, the soul wanders-
Straying out,
Into the open-
A quest.

And I wonder, does the soul culminate
In lost tears-
Or does the wandering soul bleed joy,
Replete?

Sunday Date :)

Doesn't matter, how you look-
Just hurry. We'll miss the show.
I yell-
Loud and clear.
(In vain)

My temper rises, boiling fumes-
And I wait, incessantly
(For what seems ages)
And then, she comes out,
Grinning.
How do I look? Should I change?

My eyes pop out,
The phobia of another wait, cumbersome.
And I scream Nooooo... you look fine
Pleased, she gives in.

Come along, come along,
I don't wanna miss the show-
She mutters, in a tone
Unmistakably patronizing.
I smile through clenched teeth,
Exasperated a sigh,
I let out.

Hey listen, I'll just park the car
And be back, right away.
Do not move-
I say, do not move.
(unlike the last time,
Please do obey. sigh!)

Held her wrists tight,
And walked in-
The movie had begun.

Can I get to have another pack of popcorn?
She turns to me, pleading.
You are impossible
I mutter, on my way out.
Back with popcorn, I nudge her-
A snatch, and not even a word.
God! How do I even tolerate this female?
I wonder out loud.

I hear a sob, every now,
And then-
Turning to look at her-
I see the tears that flow down.
Hilarious, I felt the scene-
A tear-jerking you!

A drive back home-
And I control the urge to laugh.
How was the movie?
I ask, ever innocent.
Ah! Not too good, emotionally insensitive-
The portrayal
She quips.

Uh-oh, not again! I saw you heaving
And wailing-
And you tell me
You never felt a thing? Impossible.

Mind your age, young lady!!! Am your grandma-
She turns to me, authoritative.
And I tried hard to hold back my snort,
And managed to smile.

Impossible, You are , Dear Granny
I murmur,
As I kiss her goodnight.

And as an after-thought, I add-
I love you,
And our Sunday Dates.
Goodnight, Dear Granny!!
(Waiting for the next weekend.)

Illusion

The big bang's child,
Blossomed, the earth.
Adam and Eve,
Born from Thy womb.
Across time immemorial
They built a world,
Of their own-
Unison of science,
And beyond.

Tepid, the bonding grew-
As ages sped by, in sheer force.
Crawling dreams gained wings,
And the hands gained power,
To oppose its own neighbour.
Hefty, the gradation-
From Adam's Eve,
To today's Me.

When tonight sets,
There still would remain
A trace-
Of the forbidden.
Yet, the apple seems stuck
In him-
Thy miracle?
Or his punishment?

And then, I wonder-
Why ain't Thy creation,
Thy reflection,
But a mere illusion?

Nightmare

The nightmare repeats-
O'er and o'er.

Sweaty palms,
And quivering lips-
I shake myself awake.
Involuntarily,
My hands reach for you-
In vain.

And the ache traces back
Through my veins,
Back to where it belongs-
A cascade of pain,
Gushing forth.

Sleep beaten eyes,
And disheveled hair
Ghostly white skin,
And the aura of agony-
I prod myself
To life.

As the morning sun smiles,
Life gains her pace-
I fall behind.
And as night befalls,
I sing myself to sleep-
Longing for you.

And the nightmare repeats-
O'er and o'er again.

Quicksand

The slush of quicksand-
It soaked me in,
A fierce rage.
Fluttery feet
That could float,
I longed for.
The slurry spread,
And pulled me in.
A vigorous thrust- in,
And all that remained heard-
A thud,
And a thump.

Panting, and puffing-
I tried to ease myself away,
In vain.
Looking down at my feet,
I found the sand
Engulfing me within.
It felt safe,
Yet frightening-
To watch myself
Sink deep.

Delving deeper and deeper,
I watched the sky turn red-
In crimson fear.
And the leaves murmured
In unison-
A teary farewell.
The breeze blew soft,
A caress tender.
And I closed my eyes-
To let go.

Numb,
I watch myself,
Devoured.
And hear the tune,
Replayed,
Soulful.
And,
I reach that point-

An illusion, of myself-
Untraceable.

On a Drive...

A long drive down the south-
The gentle breeze cooed a melody,
Calming my frayed nerves
And aching limbs,
A countryside symphony flowed in,
From across the distance.

The sun drops teased and taunted,
Disarming me.
Pulled over the car, out in the open,
I walked out, right there-
Sprawled on the lush green stretch-
Pampering my senses,
Blossoms of rosy memories- Savoured.

Drove on, revitalized, a lonely ride.
This time, taking all my time,
To stop, and live each budding freshness
Preserving the beautiful todays
As fond yesterdays.

The white fence and yellow Carnations
Adorned a pretty cottage, on my way.
A quick stop, and I looked out-
The brick walls and wooden window frames
They held a dream within-
A soulful hymn, I did hear.

I lived the smiles often sprinkled
All over,
And the drops of tears shared,
Across time-
And held the feeling of home
In me-
Sustenance of a wild emotion Deepened in me,
And drove on, I did.

Leaving a petal mark across the distance traveled-
Impressions of today etching into
Fine lines of yesterdays.

Ah! Fragrant, the todays!

And, I rained my soul.

The raindrops splattered
Over my window panes
And I watched,
Dreamily.
Soaking in the aroma,
Of the fresh damp soil
I sat-
Effervescent memories,
Bubbling over.

Sashayed into the open, i did-
Drenching myself.
Raindrops touched my wet skin
And I squirmed,
Anticipating the forbidden.

I held the hem of my skirt
Seamless-
Swaying in grace,
A pirouette,
magical.
My supple feet soaked in,
The damp earthen joys,
And the drizzle
Caressed my parched soul-
Blissful,
I heeled a dance.

Gyrating-
I held my eyes shut,
Winding back to the memory-
Of belonging, of love, of you.

Soulful a mizzle,
It rained on.
And I stood, saturated-
Waterlogged dreams,
Waiting-
For you.

Gently, my eyes pried itself open.
And, I rained my soul.

My Intoxicated Dreams!

The aroma of fresh brewed coffee
Strikes my nostrils,
And races through my nerves-
My senses swirl, in exhilaration.
And I awaken-
Intoxicated.
.
.
.
A split second,
And I crawl back-
Into the dejected shell.
Waiting, in anticipation,
For a puff-
Of weed.
.
.
.
Obnoxious-
I slip away,
Into the realm of-
My Intoxicated Dreams!

Transit

The voice cracks-
Traversing
Across the oceans,
Beyond the seamless space
To reach this point-
Up to me.

Hellooo!

The voice calls out-
Heart hammering, I sit upright,
Hanging on,
To each word-
Hopeful.

Oh...hi...!

Choked, a sigh escapes
My quivering lips.
And I hang on,
To catch that feel,
The sense-
Of sheer belonging.

Despite the transmission delay,
And the lack of clarity,
I wait,
Savouring the silence,
Knowing-
Feeling-
That heart's beat.

And,
As the connection breaks-
I sit back,
Nurturing the lump in my throat,
To satiation.

And a smile blossoms,
In the ashen silence
Of feeling.