for you,momma...

the sky so grey
and the winds raging on
i ran and ran
for i dint wanna stay

i wanted to reach safe
before the storm struck hard
the lightening blindening me
i just wanted to be safe

i dint stop to see the rains
clattering on the window panes
i tried to hold the mugs in my hands
close to my chest,away from the rains

for i dint want the water
to ruin the warm tea in the mugs
i held them in my hands so safe
for i had to deliver them good

i could see people in glee
rejoicing over a rain so fresh
i could see kids like me
dancing in all frenzy

and my li'll soul longed
to be one of them
and dance away to the tunes
of mother nature's spring cleansing..

but i had duties to do
to carry around the mugs
a penny for each one i sell
a penny for my momma dear

i could feel the rough hands
so bruised after her daily toil
the anguish in her eyes
the pain in her loving glance...

i cant stop despite the rains
for i have a mission to fulfill
i wanna sell these mugs of tea
i wanna help my momma dear

i wanna see her smile ...
a fleeting joy in her eyes
its worth my burning feet
worth all the fun i am missing today!

death! you can take me now...

lurking in the darkest of darkest hours,
waiting for a chance to pounce upon
my soul so fresh and pure...

i could see the blood-shot eyes,
the coal black skin so smooth,
the nails so long and dagger-like,
the halloween mask to cover the face,
i had this mutilated image
before my eyes,since ages...

death! the vampire oozing out all life,
from the center of my being!

but now i see its all so fake,
for i feel so safe as i close my eyes.
i feel at peace,no vampire hands
lynching over myself and no pains,
no blood-shot eyes,no pitch darkness...

all i can envisage is a light so pure
and a love so sure,a call touching my soul
and now i know am gonna be safe...

death! you can take me now,
for,i know am gonna be safe in your arms...

an ode to a friend..

you say its time to say goodbye
and i keep wondering
is it for real
or is it a game..?

you are leaving me stranded here
with no shade
of your love
or hand of friendship..

and i wonder who you are
i cant but fathom
i feel as if i've known you
for a life time, my dear friend..

wish you had been more lucid
for i never knew
you were here
just as a fleeting breeze

a tender waft of care
to fill me up with life
and that when you'd blow on
you'd take my breath away..away..

Unsaid wishes..

sometimes i wonder
where did you go..
for, all i know is
you were in my dreams

days have begone
hopes are still aflame
all i look upto
is a glance of yours

i haven't seen your smile ever
i haven't known your touch
i haven't been with you
but i have known none like u

they say am cracking up maybe
gone out of my minds
for,i dream of you day and night
of you..whom i have never known

i could feel you in me
filling me with a love so pure
i knew you were gonna come to me
from some faraway land..i knew

but i have been waiting for long
and still i haven't been blessed
for i am still barren to the core
for my soul calls upon you..so..

caged love..lemme go..

Life seems a mess,
I can go no more...

I feel so much so bruised,
My soul in deep anguish.

I long to break away,
From all the shackles of love.

I am gripped by your love
So strong; it hurts me so...

I wish you would lemme go,
Free me from the handcuffs.

I just wanna breathe free,
Walk around all alone..

You know, I will come back to you,
For, I have known, no love like yours.

But I want to live my life,
Without your grip of terror.

I know you want me to be with you,
But I want to heal my bleeding self.

I feel as though, your grip would kill,
As though you are choking me, into oblivion.

I can't go no more...words fail me...
I want to be more than your love.

I wanna live for myself once,
Wouldn't you let me live my life ???

I know you are in so much awe for me,
I promise, I'll come back to you..

But, just let me free, from this obsession,
Free me from this caged love...lemme go...

I wanna fly till I tire...
And then, I'll be back in your arms...

Dont look into my eyes..

dont look into my eyes..please dont..
i dont want you to see right through me
i know you can..for you know me so..
you can read all what is going on within..
for u know me inside out..inside out..

there were times i were so glad..so glad
i had a friend who knew me through and through
a soulmate who could read my mind
and weave wonders for me all the time
by just being there for me..anyday..anytime

but now i dont wanna let you know
whats in me..never wanna let you know
the pain i am living through
beneath all my smiles and laughs
i'm still hurting..bleeding for you..

and i dont want you to see through me
to know how much i'm hurt within
how much i wish to go back..
to be with you..once again..
even though i know its never gonne be so..

so dear..never look into my eyes..never
i can smile,i can laugh,with you
i can go on and on about anything,but us..
i can make you smile,even today..am glad i can..
just dont look into my eyes..dont

so please dont look into my eyes
lemme bleed..lemme hurt..all alone
i dont want you to see through me
dont look into my eyes..no..no..
never look into my eyes..neva..neva..

Till death do us apart..

raining my soul away
i wanted this day
to go on and never end
for i had you,my godsent!

looking ahead into the times
i felt it is bleak,all burning flames
for i knew,its never gonna last
and you know it too,atlast..

days are few,a countdown so few
smiles are many,just time is due
tears maybe ready,waiting to fall
just hold me through,till i get through..

the gateway to heaven,here i am ready
to enter GOD's land and try to be steady
trying hard to calm myself down
accepting the fate i am destined upon..

i cant look into your eyes so dear
for i see a reflection of my own fear
of what lay ahead for you and me
emptiness for you,the unknown for me..

a land of smiles,a world of prayer
a garden of its own precious foyer
i hoped to be a part of it soon
from the hands of god,i see it all a boon..

as i close my eyes every night
i am filled with a pain so heartfelt
for how much ever i try to ignore
all i can see is your bleeding heart..

i realize i can never let go of you
i cant leave you to bleed for me
i cant lose myself to death i know
i can feel the tears toss down my cheeks...

and i wake up to kiss you sweet
careful not to let you feel my tears
for i know how hard you try to act oblivious
just for me; not to lemme see your tears..

my dear,i know it hard and true
i know you wanna hold me to you
and never let go,not even to heaven..
for you know that is where i long to belong..

i wish i could promise never to part
i know its hard for you and me
but i know time will heal your wounds
and you'll smile once again...

and i'll be there, i promise
i'll be there for you..
till death do us part..
till death do me part...

A lonely ray of light!

Dark was the night
darker yet was my soul
for,now barren to the core
i had no halo,no glee..

shiny eyes,so green and true
glaring from the pitch blackness
boring deep down into myself
i felt a prick,a fleeting terror..

the winds marred at my face
crashing with it the window panes
thundering through the rains
flashes of lightening burnt me..

rocking back on the easy chair,
i closed my eyes in sheer fear
and all i could see and feel
was the ice-cold stare of those eyes..

it moulted into my soul
i felt the load of all the grief
crashing upon me,hurting..
the despair lynching all over..

i looked up into the darkness
and i could see a tiny star
a ray of light so pure
and i could suddenly smile...

tears dropped down from my eyes
a gentle smile spread on my lips
and i realised in the dark
a lonely ray of light is all you really need...

Lost in love...

I never knew I could be lost,
So lost, ever in my life.
Days go on, life moves on,
Only, I am, in some deep slumber.

Looking back upon my days,
So fresh and new, as ever,
I never knew, I could feel,
So much of a love, for him.

I have seen him in all hues,
All through smiles, and joys,
And to a river of tears-
I have seen it all.

Lying next to him in the shores,
I have known all the life,
The rainbow of feelings,
I could possibly ever know.

I wish to look back again,
On the very few times of mine,
When I would wake up, with a smile,
And a flicker of hope, to be with him.

Now days are at a stretch,
So dull and dark, like caving paths,
Smiles are forgotten, long lost,
Tears are dried up, welling to burst.

I have always wondered, who he was,
Without him, my days are like hell,
Nights seem to be endless deep pits,
Where I tread along, as if in a trance.

I know, its high time, to move on,
But each step of mine ahead
Brings into my mind his footprints
The prints of love so hard fixed

I oft wonder, why my smiles, are so short lived,
I wonder why, I lost him, to the world,
I wonder how, and why, he left this world,
I wonder how he felt to know, he is leaving me.

I cant close my eyes, ever,
For, I get glimpses of him, dying.
In pools of blood, he sees just one face-
Mine; in deep anguish, I know.

I know the pain he felt, was for me,
The pain, of leaving me astray.
He could never let go of my hand,
And now, he's gone away... away...

And my dear one, I wanna let you know,
I still have your hands in mine,
I still see the world through your eyes,
Where ever you be... you are in me... forever

Belladona!

across me i could see
a shining face,so full of life
belladona!thy name i adorned
beautiful lady! i smiled..

the raindrops lashing onto her face
the locks of golden hair
swaying with the breeze
falling upon her river deep eyes..

ah!i felt i could go on till eternity
the slender fingers trying in vain
to keep away her curly locks
from the raging winds that blew..

i felt so much in awe
i wanted to rush to her aid
to promise her through and through
that i'd be there for her..

vulnerable,i felt she was so frail
how much i longed to hold her close
and kiss her eyes,so pained they seemed
i could feel the pain crushing my soul...

i looked for the thorns on her feet
for i could feel the trickling of blood
from the wounds so deep,so well-covered
with her smile and gracious charms

yet i could feel the pain, one by one
lynching at her soul, ripping her apart..
i wanted to take her in my arms..
and shout to the world "she is mine"

gently i awoke from my reviere, so surreal..
turning once more to bore into her eyes
and i found myself staring into the hollow..
the seat so bare,yet ever fragrant in her memory..

and i couldnt help but wonder...
hey belladona..are you real?
or are you a part of me..
a dream, a stirring fantasy???