Euthanasia

Part one:

My mind remains fumbled,helpless
Education of the many years,failing.
I feel myself shrink away,trying,
To camouflage my hollow,watching him suffer.

I feel a tender pull at my heart,
Every time i put my steth to him-
Every dubb, every lubb i hear,
It speaks a million unspoken words.

The first time he asked, of me,
The gift of a life, devoid of pain,
Pleading for mercy, urging to kill,
I felt myself wish too, to grant the wish.

To save the agony of a life time,
In a single shot of the manna of death,
And then, I shudder to realize my ethics
Am i God to deliver death? The question never exists.




Part two :


Strapped onto the white linen spreads,
Bottles of blood and fluids nearby,
Tubes all around my body ever so weak
I lie here, helpless, bound to life by a thread.

The pain blinds me ever so much,
Hot flashes, of flesh ripping ache,
brutally devouring me, each moment,
Wish i could shut eyes to every single feel.

Every time I see the vacuum expressions,
On the many faces near, and so dear
Toxic hurt, venomous hatred, towards life
It eats me up, bit by bit, amidst the pains.

Unfair to me, God and His ways,
Endless pain, relentless torture ,
No redeeming of faith, never, not once.
I plead my physician,to grant me mercy,to ease my pain.



Part three :


Twisted emotions fills the air, tonight.
The narrow line between the right,
and the wrong, it still remains vague.
Easing the pain is it? Or is it taking life?

Strolling along the bustling hospital wards,
Beads of sweat dripping, in sheer fear,
Hearing the conscience speak out loud,
Against the notes of education, deep rooted, within.

And the shivers of agonizing pain,
Ripping, tearing him apart, so numb.
He cries his lungs out, a call, to be heard,
Mercy! Mercy! Ease the pains. A Death call.

The edge of sanity, the thin strand of humanity
The throes of pain, and the purpose of healing.
Conflicts- mercy offerings or cold blooded murder,
All the difference of world, in just one little deed.


Ah! Mercy, prayers from the two sides, it echoes, on and on...

The Statue With Bleeding Eyes...

Warm,
droplets of my love,
Running,
down my cheeks.
Helpless,
I stand perfectly still.
Arms ,
pinned onto my sides.
Weak,
to raise my hands,
and,
to even try wiping my tears.
Helpless,
I stay here tonight.
Waiting ,
for myself to be heard,
Hoping,
for my innocence to be proved,
Longing,
for this pain to fade,
Burning,
my soul to an ash less pyre.
Love,
is all what I gave till date.
Unfaithful,
is the term I am marred with.
Helpless,
I stand here desolate,
Staring,
into your brilliantly lit eyes.
Words,
fail me tonight, panic kills me.
Choked,
I feel myself fading away.
Far away,
I see your silhouette blur.
I plead,
don't leave me here, tonight.
In vain,
I long to call out to you, aloud.
Voiceless,
I stay glued, a statue born,
Bleeding,
tears pouring down endlessly.
A statue,
with bleeding eyes, I am, tonight...

I'm in love! ;)

I feel so silly tonight,
Standing up here
And
Screaming my lungs out,
Just to say,
To the world
And make sure, you listen too.
That,
I'm in love!

I feel so fresh,
All of the sudden.
Always smiling
Seeing you, all around
in my heart.
Laden-
As a fragrant rose,
Amidst the pages
of my life's book!

I feel the spring in me,
blooming anew,
The breeze blowing ,
through my locks.
Cooling me,
Adding a glow-
Onto me.
And
I find myself dancing,
in sheer delight!

I feel the world is dead,
Stuck at its best-
Spring in bloom
Faces smiling
Flowers pretty
Lakes placid.
And it is just me- alive.
Livelier than ever,
with just thoughts.
And dreams,
of yours!

Losing me...

Hailing every little joy, as mine
Kissing every new bud, with love
Winking at every kid on the street,
I walked along the flowery path!

Dreaming of the joyous escapades,
The future bright, stars to delight,
Aroma fresh, soothing my senses calm
I could vision life blooming into bliss!

A gale came by, soft and tender.
It warmed my heart and filled me up
Gentle gushes of a breezy love, welling in.
A lullaby it sang, and i found myself lost!

The breeze sang, and i swayed along,
Cheering and giggling, i loved the feel.
Bliss! i wondered if it did match my feel
For, i could have lived on, in glee, forever!

One fine day, i found a mountain, high
Where the breeze could blow, even more
I hopped along, in sync with the waft.
Alas! i felt myself being sucked, into a vortex!

The tender breeze, it gained roaring speed.
I felt myself swirling along in a frenzy, petrified.
The tornado struck harder, pulling me in
I felt my dreams, my spirit ebb away!

Aftermath of a terror, came deafening silence
The breeze puffed a soft whisper, of love
I felt myself find it hard, to walk away.
Yet, once again, i danced on to its tunes!

Touches of pink...

The little new bud,
Fresh and blooming...
...ah! touches of pink!

The splendid lush green,
Basking in an after shower...
...ah! touches of pink!

The golden toppings,
From the morning sun...
...ah! touches of pink!

The starry delights,
In the midnight sky, so shy...
...ah! touches of pink!

The little feet hopping in glee,
Splattering puddles of watery fun...
...ah! touches of pink!

the crimson of 'her' cheeks,
With the tinge of a blush...
...ah! touches of pink!

The little toothless grin
Of a young child, so tender...
...ah! touches of pink!

The smile in 'his' eyes,
Spreading the warmth ever...
...ah! touches of pink!

The wagging of the pet doggy,
Affection pouring, so deep...
...ah! touches of pink!

The smooth journey into woods,
Exploring each step covered...
...ah! touches of pink!

The chirping of the birds,
Gentle tugs at the hearts...
...ah! touches of pink!

The mundane little things of life,
Often hidden amidst the frantic haze...
...ah! touches of pink indeed!!!!

Remnants of a dream...

holding you in my slender arms today,
i have no words to share, not one
no dreams remain, to be woven together
no hopes of living you, again, ever again...

your words still echo in my mind
pleading me to come along, with you,
off to a new world, a fresh new start
wherein we could build our castle of dreams...

alas, you know it hard and true
i can never leave my roots, never
not for you nor the world, even if i wanted to
for i have an eternity to leave behind...

a hundred dreams i held in my eyes
the many shimmery desires we shared
the odd smiles shared, silent gazes
holding hands in the darkest of alleys...

you, leaving me, i can't but fathom
growing up together in the walks of life
always having had your hand to hold onto
and your shoulder to cry on, i can't but let go...

yet knowing it deep, the stark reality
cruel it seems it my heart, wrenching me
and today i wanna hold you close to me
as close as it could be, binding you onto me...

I'll miss your strong arms that hold me safe
the gentle lips that kiss me into oblivion
the warm breath of yours on my skin, burning
the soft silken words of love..oh..I'll miss you so...

as i look at you lying beside me, eyes closed
i find a drop of tear, running down your face
and i wish to kiss away the pain, today and ever
but alas, i have to stay back and watch you go, away...

time seems to mock me, for the hours just speed by
and now i find you waiting, for my final nod, a smile?
i really don't know... how to let you go... oh my...
kissing you tender, one last time, i smile amidst my tears...

and you turn away, i can't see your eyes, are they wet?
would you ever see me again? ever again, on the streets?
maybe once, in your dreams? i wonder still, tears stinging me
and you never turn back, do you still feel shy of tears, i wonder?

you go on, leaving a dream, half done...
i stay back, living a dream, half undone...

mY bRoKeN DrEaM...

a bright li'll wisp of silvery smoke...
...i glimpsed on the darkest of starless nights

a hanging snowy white orb...
...and i saw threads of gold ebbing out

i longed to embark on a journey afresh...
...across the never ending stretch of the night

treading along the thin strand of life...
...tugging onto the sole twine of my being

my future still remains vague, at stake...
...uncertain as every new pristine dawn

ages may not have blessed my love...
..yet it has lived on, at least in me

i may not have won you over in life...
...yet i wish you'd know, you still dwell in me

wishing upon the barren skies tonight...
...for a shower of shimmery stars on me

wishing for an endless ray of golden hue...
...to bridge the distance between us, galore

i close my eyes ever so vacuous, without you...
...hoping for a dawn lit by the shining aura of 'you'

and not a drop of my broken dream, falling...
...into my slender palms, yet another dawn!

i run,yet again...

i turn around to run
away from you
away,far away...

running across the snow laden paths
leaving behind trails of red,dripping

trudging across the lush green meadows
my feet bleeding, thorns pricking deep

wading across the deepest of rivers
limbs tiring, chest heaving, in fear stark

treading the vast expanse of desert land
sand dunes force me behind,pooling me in

swimming against oceans fathoms deep
the power tides catapult my very existence

i turn around and run
i find your prints near
and i run,yet again...

despair sings a melancholy note into me
guilt stings me, right on spot, no ambiguity

the sun burns my soul, am slowly devoured
the charr falls as traces on the ground;ashes

night drops by, and i find myself fall prey
to the ballads of devastating fear; wild senses

rains sprinkle hot molten lava onto my skin
and dark blood dripping off from my heart;cold

every thorn that pricks me reminds me of my deeds
the hurt i gave, the heart i broke; ruthless

i turn around and run
i find the aura around
and i run,yet again...

reflections of herself,she feared
an aura of her guilt she traced
everywhere she ran, she hid
she found herself stained in red

and yet she ran,again
and once again...

With you or without you...

wide awake,yet eyes tight shut
i look up, into the eternal void
a hollow never to be retraced
a deep emptiness irrevocable.
memories flash by in a haze
i find myself re-live my days
with you or without you...

the rains drench me even today
yet i never realise its the raindrops
falling over me, and not my tears
the sun burns me even today
yet i find no heat engulfing me
for am burning deep within my soul
with you or without you...

the snow gives me a reason more
to hide, to stay away from life
the night offers me its dark cloak
to hide under, tears safely stashed
every dawn break and i lie calm
trying to listen to a voice so dear
with you or without you...

every blossom, each new fragrance
every smile, every chirpy bird song
my soul bleeds raw, tears pouring
today as i walk on the many roads
we undertook together once and ever
my life seems vacuous, a dearth
with you or without you...

walking along the flowery pathway
crossing over the white fence to home
each step i take reminds me sleek
of a missing print, your print of love
faintest of murmurs, of your love
a silent whisper is all i long for
with you or without you, now...

the girl with a broken smile :)

the fortress stood alone,mighty high
white marbles adding to the beauty
yet no blaze of light set it bright
the citadel stood by,emanating a night glow!

far across the horizons at bay
i stood alone,holding a beacon dear
across the many unknown lands
i wandered in pursuit of a dream unknown!

trudging through the jungles deep
crossing the vast stretch of desert land
and hoping for each mirage to be true
i moved on,and here i am,tonight!

the breeze so cool,night seemed to blush
the skies dazzled in the light of stars
the darkest of ebony skies, jet black
bejewelled in sprinkles of silvery stars!

looking up at the marble fortress
i found it dark,ever so cold and dead
amidst the silver starry glow backdrop
the fortress seemed to hide some jewel!

off the sudden i saw a bolt of light
a brilliant light,an astral glow
i wonder if it is the pearly moon
dumbstruck,i held my eyes in awe!

the breeze swayed on ever so calm
the moon hid behind the dark curtains
and yet the night shone in a silver glow
and i saw a mysterious smile,a broken smile...

her luscious tresses shone a golden hue
blowing along with the breeze wayward
the emerald green oceans deep,in her eyes
and pearly smooth skin that lit up the night...

divinity she held in her striking gaze
ever graceful she held her every move
my eyes held itself onto her mystery smile
wondering what her mind hid from me...

i found no anguish in her ever soft eyes
yet vulnerable,i wished to protect her ever
and pry open into her broken smile tonight
a smile i'd never forget,a smile hiding a million hues..

her smile-a broken smile, a beautiful smile
a lifetime cloaked in the curve of her lips
and all i wish for tonight,is her gentle smile
the shimmery skies and a smile ever so full...

...and never again a broken smile, never again...

sarcasm

sarcasm
a hint of it
to add
a topping,
over the creme
bitter a taste
stinging
right at the spot
sarcasm,
a word to note
a feel sharp
a blow physical
brutal
adding fire
to burn
even the ashes...

sarcasm,
from someone so dear
it can hurt,
rip you off
ruin your peace
and eat your calm
wish one'd never
ever lash off
ironical
sugar coated
blatant words
of poison
brewing...

My Star Child!

Little pink toes
Fluffy little feet
Soft as flakes
Of heavenly clouds
Tiny little fingers
Curled onto mine
The first touch
The first feel
Of my little gift
My cuppy cake
My little one
Ah! Bliss!


Her muffled little cry
My heart swelled
In a feeling strange
Holding her close
In awe my gaze lingered
On my little fluffy doll
A miracle ever so mine
To brighten up my life
And strengthen bonds
Of love,of hope,of faith
My little one,
My star child!

transfixed in time...

time,
it struck once...

i held open my eyes
trotting out of bed
i ran to the window
and gazed into the sky
the midnight sky dark
spotless gleam
shining on
in the dark
mirth
glee
me.

time,
it struck again...

my eyes seemed to flutter
i look up once again
the smokey darkness
vapourised in a haze
and my eyes struck gold
bright sun drops warm
glittering bright
shining again
in the light
mirth
glee
me.

time,
it struck again...

a gentle touch awakened me
i felt myself stumble over
his arms held me safe
his gaze ever so loving
yet it held a startled note
i smiled, images of myself
spending hours
waiting for
mirth
glee
him
me.

time,
it struck yet again...

me
him
glee
mirth
together
gazing away
into oblivion
the changing hues
the ever shining dark
and the warmest sun drops.

time,
it strikes a million odd times
transfixed,
we live an eternal dream of love...

a million little pieces...

'tis aint the way i wished it to be
tis aint the way i hoped it would be
tis aint anything i ever fathomed to be.'

criss-crosses in my little book
notes pouring out of my soul
shameful lines and piteous acts
cowardly words and bitter truth
white sheet drenches in staining red
i shy away from the genuine reality
i shy away...

rapid gushes of splintering pain
my hands solemnly refuse to budge
to note outspoken proof of my sins
my fingers violate my senses
my hands cross over my write
truly illegible it becomes
senses overpowered...

still my mind fears of being discovered
of being fumbled out into the lights
impulses rush through in a race
reflexes propel my hands again
white sheets being shred away
torn million little pieces flying away
content i lie back, a smile...

'tis aint the way i wished it to be
tis aint the way i hoped it would be
tis aint anything i ever fathomed to be.'

thoughts falter midway,
a million little pieces
soaring away across the horizons
and i gaze along the path,
an infinite bubble of shameful woes...

sands of time

Thinking ahead into eternity
I lost the fragrance of yesterdays
Thinking beyond the horizons
I lost the sand beneath my feet
Thinking into the depths of infinity
I lost myself in the shallow haze
Yet I find a gleam of hope,
To soar into the skies, a rising,a rebirth-
-Towards the shining sliver of eternal desire?
-Or is it fathoms deep down into myself?

Wishing for the sands of time
To pour down,drops of golden hue
Into me,deep down...into me!