Beloved memories...

I feel myself shrink,
Shrink away, into oblivion.
Guilt pangs striking at me,
Lapping me up, in its whirl.

Years ago, I had cried,
My soul out, in despair,
At losing you, my love,
To death, to eternal flames.

I had felt so deep,
The pain, ever gnawing at me,
Gashes deep, in my heart,
Raw, even ages after.

I had never known,
That a day would come,
When your existence,
Would seem translucent.

A faded silhouette,yours,
I could never fathom to be.
But tonight as I ponder on,
I find yourself so far, faraway.

The day you left me, forever,
I had believed, I'd never ever forget,
The very day, ever in my life,
A dark day, heart wrenching.

And yet, as I woke up today morn,
I smiled ,and I felt fresh as ever,
Oblivious to the date, the one day,
I'd vouched to never forget.

But alas! I did forget,
Faded away into the flimsy layers,
Of life's many terrains,
You have wandered away, so far away.

And all I feel is despair,
A vacuum, self hatred and pain,
Of having forgotten,
Having let you, dim away.

But as I sit down, savoring memoirs,
Of what seems eons ago,
I find the very same feeling,
Of love, of care, of belonging.

And I realize, despite the faded aura,
And all the worldly influences,
Despite the circle around me today,
You still, live on, in me.

Dormant love, I realize,
As I hold back onto the memories,
And I am glad, today, i feel you, in all love,
Not as painful reveries, but as beloved memories...

Disguise

Behind her flimsy veil, she hid,
An ocean of her emotions, stinging,
And as her lips curve, into a smile,
Her veil hides the new drop of dewy tear,
Threatening to befall.

Could any disguise be more apt, than a smile, I wonder?

Untying Entanglements

A cluster of feelings,
Rushes through me, now.
I wonder how does one,
Unhook old clasps,
Well fitting latches,
Pried open, off the sudden.

Call it untying of entanglements,
Yet really, is it what it seems?
Isn't there a hint of something more,
I wonder, loud outright?

Criss crosses of iron,
Did i ever tie all around you,
That u wish to let free,
Free of the straining chains,
Culmination of emotions,
Leading to sheer aloofness.

Be it breaking away of shackles,
Be it shedding off the undesired,
Whatever be it, however you do it,
Count me in. For, there is nothing I could do.

Forever mine...

You have struck a chord deep,
Untouched for ages across,
Bare, monotonous, calm,
Content in its solitude.

You came in closer, urging in,
And despite every fear,
I let you in, ever cautious.
And peep in, you did.

Curtains fell, a masquerade dropped,
And I stood before you, naked,
My soul bared open, pure,
And you cloaked me, with all love.

My vacuous self breathed anew,
A rhythm flowed into me,
And my heart leaped to beat,
To the music of your love.

Tonight, as yet another year slips away,
I wish we would remain so, forever,
But as I utter those very words,
I know, you are my forever!!!

Sky Far...

Silver linings, white soft silk,
Creamy skin, supple, yielding.
She stood at the hall way,
Twinkling eyes, lined in Kohl,
Shining eye lashes, shimmering,
Holding alive, a million dreams.
The lone string of lustrous beads,
On her slender neck,it shone.
Locks of golden hair, let down,
Swaying along, in the breeze,.
Her vine red lips, mesmerizing,
Curved, offering a dazzling smile.
Dangling chandeliers, glittering,
Jingling from across her ears soft.
White silk, hugging her tight,
Gentle curves, swaying delight.

She stood, across the stairway,
A golden dream, in the midnight blue.
Aching to touch, to hold, to love,
He stood, hidden behind the crowd,
Watching, devouring, her every move.
Ever oblivious to him, she moved,
Gliding across the glazing ball room,
Dancing feet and breathtaking beauty.

Eyes cloudy, in sheer awe, he stood,
Admiring, loving, achingly distant.
Painstakingly beautiful, she stood,
Steps ahead, in all divine splendor.
Flocks of people, rushed over,
To bow, to please, to see- her.
And he stood away, far away,
Behind the luscious gold curtains,
Afraid, to be noticed, to be known.
Aching for her, yet ever so content,
With just a glimpse, he sighed.
Breath caught, he stood through,
Watching the stardust rain over her,
Sprinkled in the moonlight, astral.
And then, he felt the curtains vanish,
And he saw her looking up, at the sky.

Smiling at him, she stood, vulnerable,
And he twinkled, a star, from the sky...

Stoned faith

Stoned faith, she sighed, in despair,
At his bleeding forehead, drenched in red,
Redemption of faith, but, by self torture?

Random Lines, Etched Deep...

In the shady dusk of dawn,
I sit, cross-legged,
Head bowed,
Not in reverence,
Mere aloofness.

Is it this?

Or is it that?

....maybe, I need more time, more space...

Time seems still,
The clock static, dead.

The candle seems dying,
Flame bluish, cyanotic .

I count my toes,
One, two, three....
...nine and ten.

Wishing for a knife,
In the darkest of nights,
No cuts, no bruises,
Fair spotless skin,
My clean slate, to run my thoughts.

Ebbing blood,
Spotted stains,
Tainted soul, unleashed...

My thoughts take a spin,
And my eyes do a double,
Slipping away...

To sleep?
Ah! How silly, emotions could be?

Running loose,
All over,
And I know, harnesses no strong...

Is this what I meant to say?

Or is it yet another fake symbolic note?

Keep wondering,
As I do,
Often.

No, no! Not tonight...

Christmas Blossoms :)

An ode to Christmas, here I go,
Dwelling into my childhood memories,
Memories of savoring the special days,
Of living and loving Christmas:

As the snow carpet begins to veil,
All the glory hidden beneath the layer,
As the chilly winds begin to holler,
And winter sales being to flood allover,
I find myself awake, to a new December,
A new winter, and a new Christmas!

Trudging through the snowy footpaths,
Dressed in fur, covered in layers of wool,
Windows all over, displaying goodies,
Apartments cloaked in golds and reds,
Shimmery decorations, to welcome ol' Santa.
Ah! Christmas season in all earthly splendor!

The rush for the best tree to be adorned,
In lights and stars and twinkling shimmer.
The 'shopping till we drop' sessions at large,
The oodles of chocolates and fruit cakes,
The many odd Santas dressed in red and white.
Indeed, a time to relish and cherish, ever!

The gifts well packed, placed beneath the tree,
The largest of the socks, neatly unfolded,
Lay hung, beside the many bed rests, in awe,
Hoping to be filled to the brim, a year's rewards,
For being good, kind and perfect to the hilt.
Indeed, a night of sleepless fervor, delightful.

All the folks on the hunt, for that very one-
The perfect turkey, to be stuffed with all joy,
Cookies and brownies, wine and the perfect dine.
Prayers of being and doing good, for one and all,
Saviour's sacrifices remembered in deepest respects,
A new Christmas, in all spirit and purity of being.

Tonight, as I sit back reading this special ode,
A drop of tear drops down, and I find myself,
Go back to being me, pure and blemishless,
As that little girl, on the Christmas eve, years ago...

Glassy Silhouette...

The very long time of being together,
Wild youth and cherished memories,
The rapturous joys, twinkling over,
The days that stretched into sheer bliss,
And nights ending in eternal flames,
Toppings of the golden sun rising.
Indeed, bygone days, ever charismatic!

The trivial clashes of opinions many,
The daily trifles ever so bitter sweet,
Pillow fights, flakes of cotton fluffy,
Scattered all over our crumpled beds,
A million dreams sprinkled, in them.
Waking up together with sheepish grins,
Battles of overnight, forgotten in ease!

Now, as I sit alone, in the very same room,
Re-living those days, I wonder stark,
What really did go wrong, was it you,
Or was it me? Not that it matters now.
Yet, I ponder day and night, moments galore,
When did things take a headlong turn,
Moving ourselves apart? A creek growing.

Memories flood me, as I wake up alone,
They surround me in my every move.
Engulfed by the vacuous depth, of despair,
I sit back, trying to frame the lost thoughts,
Placing each word uttered, retracing each step.
And in the wake of every new dawn, I cry out loud,
For I see a glassy silhouette shattered, in my dreams..

Couplet Fever!!!

Beauty






Gasps uttered, in sheer awe, mesmerized,
Glimpses transfixed, smiles pouring, in marvel- Ah! Beautiful!



Grotesque








Startling view, disfigured hues, terrifying,
Unattractive demeanor, looking down in contempt- Oh! Disgusting!



Angelic








Ethereal charms, striking, astral glow shining,
Spreading joy and subtle love, ever seraphic soul- Ah! Virtuous!

Her Reflection...

Her luscious petal lips,
Shades of darkest red,
Alluring.

Shimmery, they shone,
Vine red ebbing,
Delicious.

Gentle quivers, so coy,
Enigmatic a smile,
Captivating.

Leaving her tantalizing lips,
My gaze moved on,
To her eyes.

Expecting lustrous deep eyes,
Twinkling with life,
I felt let down.

Her eyes, and her prosaic gaze,
They spoke volumes,
In silence.

And I realized, in sheer hypnosis-
Its her eyes which haunt,
Her hazel eyes.

My gaze never left hers,
All the while, watching,
From across the mirror-

Intoxicating.

I'm Game...

"Hey, Skipper,
Ready for the toss? "

And the toss it is.
Heads or tails-
The call.

"Heads,"
I answer,
Confidence oozing.

Hopping along, toss won,
My team, in full throttle.
All vigor and zeal,
My eleven had their deal.

Out to bat,
I sent my men,
Fire in their eyes,
Determination shining.

Boundary
At the very first ball.
Shouts and hoots,
In the air.

Running between the wickets,
My opener had a fall,
A run out called,
Desperation blooming.

A pat on his shoulder,
And I adorned my role,
Off to the field to bat,
I had to lead the way, all through.

Playing safe, we went on,
At twenty seven,
He struck me out.
Frustration boiling,
I left the field.

All out for 67,
My team and me,
We sat, pondering.
Planning our tactics,
And all geared up,
We spread out,
The field was ours.

The match zoomed on,
Wickets at overs 4,6 and 10.
It gave us the lead,
And we followed the cruise,
Battered and beaten,
The rivals bowed down.

New champions, of the land,
We adorned our title in glee.
Holding the cup in hand,
I gave my golden speech.

Celebrations!

All cheered in joy,
Along with my team,
I marched onto my house.

Eleven muddy faces,
Soiled clothes and greasy toes,
We stood grinning,
Waiting at the doors.

Opened the door,
My grandma stared at us in disgust,
Me and my gang of guys,
All aged at nine and ten.

"You are impossible,"
She heaves in despair,
And zoom, we run,
Into the house,
Muddy trails, following us galore!

Celebration time!!!!!

In All Love...

Time seems to have reached a standstill,
You and me,
Together, stoic.

Reflections that shine,
Perfection to the brim,
Touches that melt,
In our gaze.

Now, off the sudden,
I find us blur away,
The placid water turning murky.

The ripples anew,
And the fading reflections
- Ours.

I turn to look at you,
And I find the trail,
Of a drop of tear,
Across your face,
Stark.

And I find myself,
Embedded,
In your eyes,
Glowing.

And now, I know,
No reflection could ever be,
As true, as those I find,
In you eyes,
In all love.

In all love-
Together-
Us!

An Eye's Cry...

Walking along the paths,
Traversed by the many,
I take this time,
To stop,
And let my thoughts,
Wander endlessly,
In all calm.

Today, as I look up,
At the bright green skies,
Clouds of pink,
Scattered,
All across,
In all its beauty;
I see them all.

The luscious red meadows,
And the blue of sprouts,
I bend down,
Taking up a pretty flower,
Brilliant hue of brown,
It shone, in all splendor,
Fragrant little flower.

The winds gushing through,
Strands of my purple hair,
Flowing, in the breeze,
And I feel so cool.
The calm of night,
Astral yellow hue setting in,
To dip into deep slumber.

Sifting through,
The mesh of my thoughts,
I regain my senses.
Wandering thoughts, a fantasy,
Of seeing the world,
In my own hues,
My own strokes of imagination wild.

Coloring the paintings unknown,
I walk on, amidst the masses,
A crowd ever oblivious,
To the blind cry of mine,
Ever insensate,
To an eye's cry,
My eye's cry.

At The Altar

White satin gown, crystals in shine,
She stood waiting at the altar, in her veil,
And he came in too, she was told.
People moving, shielding her view,
"Where is he?" she asked in concern.
"Oh! He's here my child,
Safely tucked, in all protection"
Replied the best man, in his finest suit,
And moving away, teary eyed, he gave her her view.
It was then, that she saw his coffin, stark.

Droplets Of Love...

Waiting for him,
I stood, a very long time.
No glimpse of him yet,
And I felt myself,
Fight back my tears.

The day seemed,
To have come to a still.
I turned back home,
Anguish welling in,
A hope thwarted early.

And then, I felt a chill,
Shivers down my spine,
A gentle touch,
On my supple skin, soft.
A kiss soft, yet wet.

I looked on, in glee,
My whole body melted,
In his touch.
Cooling me off my ardor,
Droplets of his love.

Drenched to the core,
Basking in his love,
Purified by his touch,
I stood, smiling.
The first monsoon shower had struck!!!!

Sutured

Tip-toeing into me,
He came in,
A gentle subtle entry.

And, I held my breath,
Afraid to lose him,
If I sigh out.

Gentle, ever so gentle,
He put in an incision,
Fingers moving swift,
He cut me open,
And peered in,
Stark.

I watched his eyes,
Open in awe,
Sheer surprise.

I felt my breath,
Catch at my throat,
As he gently moved in.

I felt a stab.
Off the sudden,
A haul at me,
Probing deep,
And I wished, he'd stop.

Everything felt like a haze,
Foggy, in my own eyes,
And I slipped away,
Giving up myself,
To him.

And now,
As I open my eyes,
After what seems like ages,
I can feel me,
Sutured up,
Scarred for life.

O' why did I never know,
You'd scar me,
With your love?

My Abeyant Thoughts

I walk along a single thread,
An invisible strand,
Tangled.

The strand of my being.

Time seems at abundance,
A wait for me,
Perpetual.

The ambiguity staring on at me.

I try to balance myself,
On my toes,
Poised.

The ultimate ease of polish.

Penetrating gazes, into me,
I try to focus,
Impervious.

The detachment shining on at them.

Voices sing out aloud at me,
I shut myself off,
Insensate.

The inevitable, yet seemed so nebulous.

Waiting for the murky waters to clear,
I stay on the strand,
Quiescent.

Just wishing for no breeze, to hurl me, off my stand.

A Heart's Fate!

Tossed out,
Into the open,
I'd stand, weary.

He'd hold me in his sleeves;
Throw me away,
A random toss.

Fed up,
Of being hurled,
I'd give myself,
A javelin lurch!

Sometimes, I'd get a raise,
Someone would come, whispering soft.
A note of love, a touch soft,
And I'd tremble, in ecstasy.
Smiling, I'd give myself to the touch,
Playing a melodious hymn,
Just for the stroke of love, blessed!

But alas, I'd find gentle pricks,
Spots of darkest red,
Dripping bruises, ink oozing.

He'd cry for me,
And I'd feel, i can live the pain,
And try again, to be on my own.
Together, he and me,
We'd move on,
Broken, yet reviving ourselves.

And then,
Off the sudden,
Another brilliant stroke.

Again, leaping joy,
Mounting in me, afresh.
He'd toss me again,
And I'd sway along in glee,
Playing a different tune, a new symphony.

Wonder if it's just my fate,
Skipping and hopping,
Smiling and crying,
Whining and pining,
Singing and dancing,
Breaking and mending.

Sigh!!

Give me a life!
O' fate, give me a life!

Mystic Tinkles!

Tinkles!

I did hear,
The mystic chant.

Gentle overture,
Of soulful music,
A hymn,
A note.

Tinkles!

Senses,
Geared up,
In a search, frantic.

And,
Finally,
Along the many consolations,
I offered myself-
I noticed!

Tinkles,

The ballad,
That my anklets sang,
With every move of mine!

Poisoned

Confined, held up,
Handcuffed in his rage,
I lay, terrified,
Crumpling under his gaze.

Why?

No answer pops out.

Why? Oh, why?

I still feel vague.

Wondering,
Along the strands,
Of time,
Along the days,
Of mirth,
I reach a point,
Of no return.
I wonder,
Where did you,
Take the turn?

Where?

It's all foggy, still.

Looking,
Into your eyes,
I find no clue.
A masquerade,
Of emotions,
You play your part well.
You ain't any amateur,
I know.

Yet, why?

I ponder on.

Why?

Why?

Why am I being poisoned,
With love? Oh, Why?

uNvEiL mE

Fluttering heart,
Inundated mounts,
Of desire,
Seeping in.

You,
Soak in milky dreams,
Ever so white,
Leaving me dripping wet.

And then,
You hold my gaze,
In your eyes,
And I wait, an incessant wait.

Molten,
Tears carved out,
Droplets of beauty,
You try to rain out of me.

Every time I wish to live,
Your dreams fade before daybreak,
As you draw the curtains.
And I see myself awake.

And,
I stare, teary eyed,
From across the veil,
Wondering.

You,
Belong to me.
Yet, I long to light you up,
Just once, in all love.

Unveil me, o' love,
Unveil me, in you.
Unveil me,
Just this once...

Bubbles

The very gentle breeze,
Laden with the fragrance,
Of young new blossoms;
It blew on, soft a gale,
And I tried hard to smoothen,
My flying black locks!

The beauty of today,
Reflects in my eyes.
The youth of life,
Ebbs in my each heartbeat.
Life is indeed beautiful.

Every little step I take,
Bubbles of dreamy desires,
They swell in me.
And I walk on, barefoot,
As if along petal soft a path,
Following the trail of bubbles.

Bubbles of my dreams,
Fresh,
Glazing,
Tender
And, ever so mine!!!!!