Minutes Or Hours?

The night seemed so very cold,
I felt, frost, settle over me.
I tossed and turned, in pain,
Numb and sore,a distraught me.

I felt, I heard,
Questions anew.

I tried to focus,
On the speech, soft.

I felt a pull,
At my heart strings,
Asking me,
To choose-

Minutes or Hours,
To live, a lifetime.

I felt my life ebb away,
And all I could see-
Your image,
All over me.

And, I answered,
Through trembling lips-

- a glimpse!

A Dreamy Slumber...

Dewy drops,
of a fresh ray-
It hit me hard,
right at my eyes,
and, I had to,
shield myself,
from the light,
ever so bright.

I looked out,
through the corner,
of my eyes,
and I saw,
his face.
Gentle, smiling,
he stood,
waiting, for me.

I rushed in,
no barriers,
to stop me.
I felt myself calm,
in the warmth,
of his arms.
I felt my breath halt.

And I slipped in,
into a slumber,
of life,
of dreams,
of eternal smiles...

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Exquisitve carvings,
Of untamed feelings,
Draped in silken thoughts,
Dipped in golden hues,
Performing a dancing frenzy.

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Pulling me, here and there,
Sometimes, smiles play a share,
At times, sorrows crowd in,
And tears threaten to rain away,
I feel feelings running amock.

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

A pull at my heart strings,
And I feel myself treading along.
A new feeling ruptures from nowhere,
Senses paralleled, thoughts immense,
Wonder where do feelings hide?

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

A new fair thought crosses my mind,
And I smile, to be shaken, yet again,
By a new thought. Anxiety blooms in,
Giving way to crowds of newer feelings,
I feel myself pulled along directions, amany.

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

Wonder if I could ever remain stay put,
Without being trodden on, by thoughts.
Attacking my senses, reigning over me,
Making me lose the sense of direction,
Yet, propelling my life forwards- Feelings!

Feelings! Ain't they strange wonders?

The Green Leaves

Amidst the dreary grey shades
Of life, I found a sight ever pretty
Green leaves shining bright
And I walked in, in sheer delight!

The tender blades of greenish hue
Swaying along the breeze so new
I looked at it, caution in my mind
I peeped in, to note any edges sharp!

The leaves shook itself ever so light
A rhythm divine it danced in my mind
Drops of dew splashed over me
Drenching me in a love so pure!

Time was at my calling, I had to leave
With promises to myself, that I'd be back
I did abide my vows, and solemnly back
And the green leaves swayed in welcome!

Luscious green it reflected even in the dark
Profound knowledge it imparted into me
Lessons of wisdom, of care, of selfless love
And I felt myself cuddling along, in glee!

Rains came by, i saw the marvel of life
Of sprouts-imagination at its peak soar
And I smiled along, singing a rain song
Loving the feel, the cool feel in the rains!

Evergreen, the term struck me true
For I have never seen the leaves droop
Not in fatigue, nor in any despair
Ever smiling grace, I felt myself imbibe it all!

Many a nights, I awoke in stark fright
Dreaming of the lush green gardens
Glowing, yet without the green leaves
And my soul weeps in the mere thought of it so!

the green leaves still sways on, charming me
and i wish for the dance to go on for ever
earnest desires in me, long for keeping you
alive, even after i move on in life-in me, for me!!!!!

An aura of love, my mom...

Hip-hop,rock; I don't know the genre
I hear the beats,fast and tiring
The music blaring as if in a rage
Headache soaring and i flee away!

Walking away from the party deck
I end up in my room a few doors left
The calmest of spots i ever knew,
And my bed so cozy and warm!

Pondering on the party tonight,so new
Thrown by my son,at the garage below
And i cant fathom the thrill i see
In all the youth,dancing in glee!

I long to ask,is it indeed music you play,
And the clothes you wear,or don't you wear,
I don't know the fashion trends each day
Yet i wonder hard,is this all left to hope for?

I tried to plan and plot many a time anew
A lecture for you to hear,about new times
And then i wonder am i too old,too ancient
That maybe i should let you to live!

Fear grips me with every roar of your joy
For each shattering china of mine, i silently wince
Birthday bash i accept,my dear one,i accede
But why crashing glasswares that i do adore?

An old nosy lady,all brittle and sore
With an eye to pick at my faults unknown
Wonder how often my son would have said
These very words i once quipped,about my mom

Tears flow down never in her name anymore
Memories so fond buried so deep down in me
Now as i see my son grow distant from me
I realize your words of love and care...

I get up from my bed and walk away from home,
From scents of tobacco and cans of beer around
I walk down the lonely highway,to miles unseen
To reach the one spot,i vowed never again to see

Kneeling down on the cozy carpet of green moss,
Hands bowed as in deep prayers melting me,
Respect and love as never before in my eyes,
I saw my mom in a light so new...an aura of love...

Vacuum...

When life seems to go no where,
When everything seems to be still,
When everyone seems to smile
And you are just the one in tears,
When the path you under take
Seems to reach just dead ends,
When your well nurtured little plant
Seems to wilt despite your care,
When your pet seems to be groggy
Even after all the care and love,
When your favorite friend seems
To have changed into a backstabber,
When your parents seem to bicker
In front of you and your siblings,
When you find the newspapers
Screaming of the brutal rape of a girl,
When you find your friend in a fix
However you try he's still in a fix,
When nothing nothing seems to go right,
When all your hopes fall in as ashes,
When all your purpose of living fails
Into heaps of emotions devouring you,
When you find no ray of hope ever,
When you find a stranger in your mirror...

Then...you'll know what I go through
Today, right here, in the midst of all
I feel the hollow devouring me,
Oh, I fall, prey to the despair,a vacuum
Of having nothing despite having it all...

Soul's Symphony...

A special tune, I did hear,
From across the expanse,
The stretch of vicinity, a blurr.
It sang to me, a note,
Familiar, and ever so much,
Yet, I seem not able, to place it.

The humming seems to grow fainter,
And I feel myself in anguish,
Of having to let go, without a try,
To delve into the notes,
The music of my very soul,
Playing, in sync with the tune.

Ever quaint, I felt the symphony,
Yet, it pulled, at my heart strings,
And I realised, I have heard the note,
Once before, or is it often, I wonder.
A drop of tear, runs down my cheeks,
As I sing along, reminiscing of your old song...

Love Talk

'Let me in, ohh, let me in please', he urged,
'No, no', she tossed and turned, shying away.
'Its been hours, i can't stay back', he coaxed,
Gently, she welcomed him in, still half asleep.
A warm caress, he offered her, in sheer delight,
As she opened the curtain binds, to let the sundrops in!!!

The yellow feathers...

I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

I felt the sun, shine so bright,
So bright, that my eyes ached,
And, i shielded my eyes.

The brilliant white clouds, fluffy,
And the pretty morning sky, blue,
Yet, basking in a sunny glow.

I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

I held my head up, call it my pride,
Or be it my inquisitive mind,
For, I wanted to hold onto the feather.

I held my hands, above my head,
Standing on my toes, eager,
For, the breeze suddenly swung at me.

I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

My hands seem to be so near,
A touch, a faint scratch at its base,
And, I held it in my palms, the yellow feather.

Smiling, I held the feather, in the light,
Watching its beauty, planning its plight,
Deciding on its fate, to adorn my diary, bright.

I saw the yellow feathers,
Floating,
Above my skies, far away.

Penning down, these very words, tonight,
I can't help, but wonder, about the sad destiny,
Of the bird, who lost its wings, the yellow feathers.

As I hold the yellow feathers in my palms, tonight,
I wish to let go, to let it soar, into the vast sapphire blue,
To let it breathe, and fly again, dreams held in each barbule ...

Tale of an angel... (inspired)

There lived an angel, in god's own abode
He loved the luscious green pathways,
The gushing streams, of aqua, so holy,
The golden dangling stars, glittering ever,
The zephyr refreshing, a melody soothing,
He loved his condo, he loved to be a cherub!

One fine morn, he awoke from his daydream,
Ordered by his guardian, he set off, a new job.
Off, he flew, above the emerald green oceans,
Across the valleys, filled with greens and reds,
Flowers and fruits, all nectar oozing delights,
smiling, he went on, in pursuit of his mission!

Off the sudden, he saw a stirring, in the lake,
The crystal clear waters, and he saw a maiden,
Beautiful than the angels, he knew; fair as snow,
Her eyes danced in a murderous innocence,
Sculpted in perfection, she stood near the shores,
And the seraph, he just gazed at her awe-struck!

He forgot his mission deep, and embarked alone,
A journey new, in search of her, as if in a trance.
She smiled over at him, surprise mingled with fear,
Her inquisitive eyes probed, and the angel just stared,
At her marvellous beauty, and he wished to stay on,
To be with her, to live a life, to hold her, and to love.

She welcomed him, to her world, ever so pure,
Gentle smiles, words of love, a heart of gold,
She offered him, her abode, in sheer mirth, all joys,
He walked along, hand in hand, mesmerized,
The magic of love, enchanting him, melting him,
And, he stayed on, his own crib, lay forgotten!

The thunder echoed hard, rains began to lash on,
Lightening struck, patterns of brilliance, in the sky,
And then, he heard his call, the voice that boomed,
Calling his cherub back, to his abode, of heavenly bliss.
He knew he had to fly back, for spirit to thrive, alive.
Yet, he knew, he wouldn't leave her, not today, not ever.

Despair filled his eyes, his soul burning its elixir,
He looked deep, into her innocent, crystal blue eyes,
And, he could see, the expanse of the skies, in them.
Yet, marred with darkened clouds, waiting to rain away,
He looked at her crimson cheeks and her ebony locks.
Helpless, he stood, waiting, for the unknown...

She smiled at him, and held him near, offering her warmth,
The world seemed non existent, it mattered no more,
He held her close, a gentle kiss, on her petal pink lips,
Their bodies enmeshed, entwined;watched over by the skies,
They rained away their love, amidst the nature showers,
And, eternity seemed to lull, before their very eyes...

The rain clouds gave way, to the scorching sun,
And he felt, his skin burn, blistering hot, molten pain,
And, he realised the pangs, his punishment had begun.
His throat so dry, his feet blistered, skin melting,
Dry heat, flashing all over him, pain lynching at him,
And, she watched over, helpless, tortured by his pains...

The thunder struck hard, echoes uprooting even trees,
The storm grew fierce, yet, he felt his body burn away,
Broiling flames of heat, he felt himself char away,
Her eyes seemed shut, by the winds so fierce, blocking view,
And then! The deafening calm, aftermath of a love so pure,
She lay on the sandy earth, her eyes searching for him, in vain...

Enchanting Beauty...

Ever felt, the world,
Toppling, all over you?

The feeling, of relentless pain,
Of misery, and grave suffering,
For no reason, you can fathom,
And, you feel, persnickety in despair.

Ever felt, the world,
Crashing, all over you?

The umpteen instances,
When every single thing in life,
Went just so right, picture perfect,
And, off the sudden, hell breaks loose.

Ever felt, your whole existence,
Shrink away, into oblivion?

The world, moving on, in a frenzy,
And, you stay stunned, into silence,
The crowd seems to bustle, all around,
And yet, never before, have you felt, as lonely.

If at all, you have gone through, any of these,
Then, you know, what it means to be alive,
For life is enchantingly beautiful, a celebration,
And, we got to pay, for being so lucky, to be here, alive...!

Voyeuristic view

Obsessive observer, of sordid sensuality
The glimpses, of freshly uncovered flesh,
Attaining, sheer, sexual gratification,
By being a peeping tom, a voyeur.

The pursuits of stealth and guise,
Desire, for verboten intimate pleasures,
Hiding behind the unexpected of places,
Anticipation; heart pounding, in immoral joys.

The sharpest eyes, that shine in lust,
Secretive glimpses, unattainable desires,
The gravest greed, for the forbidden fruit,
Disgusting joys, inhumane erotic pleasures.

Scoptophilic gusto, greater than ecstasy,
Wonder, how could one's mind, go astray,
Distorted fantasies, ruining faith in humanity,
Wonder why, one gets into voyeuristic pursuits...

...I wonder, why?

Nightly Halo...

Night shades, and your halo,
Always made me smile, in glee.
Tonight, I see the nightly hue,
Yet, I find no halo, no shine.

And I wonder,
is it my eyes, failing me,
Or is it you, failing me?

Penance...

Paying for my smiles-
Never did I realize,
Of such a possibility , ever.

Paying for my words-
Never did I fathom,
Words would cost, so dear.

Paying for my tears-
Never did I know,
Each drop would count, so.

Paying for my blessings-
Never did I ponder,
Am being watched over, stark.

Paying for you-
Never did I grasp,
Not everyone gets to be this lucky.

My Homing Pigeon...

Capricious desires, of an infatuated soul,
Is it? I wonder, still.
I wish to hold onto him,
As though, there is no tomorrow.
Would you call it sleazy a thought,
I cant help, but ponder.

I just wish, to offer him my soul,
Loving him, more than ever,
Suffocating him, with my love,
Encompassing him, within my wings,
No living power, to separate him, from me, ever.

Would you term me, pertinacious,
Just because I pay no heed, to you?
I can't share him, with the world,
For, he is mine, and I need him so.
Possessiveness, is it, to wish my love,
Near me, ever and forever?

I promise, to let him be.
I wish, to help him nurture his dreams,
And reach heights, a flight for glory.
All I ask in favour, is the freedom, to pry open,
And read his soul, every thought, every dream.

Would you call me, mulish,
For just being so concerned?
I can't accept these terms of adorn,
For all I wish for, is my love, to be near,
No spare thought, in his mind, unknown to me,
No dream, no fantasy, without me, playing a part.

I am not cruel minded, nor am I relentless,
All I ask is some time, or rather, all his time, for me.
Is it that bad, I wonder, to wish for him,
To dream of him, as just mine, my homing pigeon?
Just to make sure, I can love him so, ever and forever.

Oh, please tell me, if I am wrong, if I am irrational in thoughts,
when all I wish, is to love him so... to love him so...

I wonder, still...

Your fingertips running along my lips,
I feel the ever smooth, silken touch,
And I feel myself tremble.
My petal pink lips quiver,
In sheer anticipation,
Or is it thrill,stark,
I wonder,
Still.

Still,
I wonder,
Why, I feel your touch,
Burning me, molten hot.
Chills of desire, freezing me,
As, I sit up awake, trembling away.
And I realize, it is, yet another dark night,
Ever since, you dipped away, into the eternal goblet...

Amidst Royal Orchids...

Time had struck odd,
Eleven gongs, had fled.

I hopped along, in ado,
A midnight drive, esoteric.

The night sky, bejeweled,
Speckles of sterling stars.

Halcyon music, soothing,
A gentle back drop,
To our amaranthine palaver.

Touch of the zephyr, so cool,
Smiles and laughter, corybantic.

A quick hiatus,
Amidst the royal orchids.

An ice cream delight,
Just after midnight.

A roman holiday, so special,
A memoir, to be cherished, forever.
And, how i wish, you felt, just the same...

A Bloody Trail...

Three drops of blood,
It trickled down her legs.
And, here I am born.

Frozen page...

Penning oodles of writes,
Scribbles dipped in red,
Red of my blood,
Ink of my soul,
I live by...

I wonder,right here,
What if my breath,
It does a stop, now?
And I feel life
Oozing out...

My pen slips off,
From my grip,
And this page,
It freezes,
As I...

Unheard melodies...

Melodies unheard,
They fill my senses, today.

Dreamy eyes, open,
And the satin spreads, crumpled,

I stretch my limbs,
Welcoming, a bright new morn.

Opening the curtain binds,
I let, the fresh morning breeze, in.

I look out, into the open,
Ah! the lush green of the gardens.

Dewy mist, on the glass panes,
Cleansing me, off my worries, today.

Tring tring tring,
Rings my cell phone, so early.

"Good morning my love"
A tender note, to fill my soul.

Smiles so fresh, blooming,
A mug of hot cocoa, steaming.

Scribbling some little words,
I sit, smiling and pondering, alone.

Life seems so quiet, today,
Calm and refreshing, I feel so good.

Raindrops pour down, off the blue,
I lash the windows shut, away from the rains.

Then, I wonder, should I?
And, I run out, into the rains, in awe.

Basking in the showery delight,
I hear a new melody, unheard till date.

And I feel my soul laden,
With the fragrance of a new today.

A bright hue, a subtle hymn,
A new dream, to nurture and weave, today...

Intoxicated...

Bemused, his eyes shone bright,
In reckless fury, dipped in unscrupulous desires,
As, he drank, from her eyes...

The moon splash!

Plop Plop Plop...
I heard the sudden drop.

Startled, I look out, into the open,
And, I saw the darkest of skies,
And, the void, in the sky,
Where the moon had reigned,
Now it fell, splashing, into the sea,
of my dreams.

plop plop plop...
my eyes droop, yet again, into deep sleep.

Finding certitude

Tangible feelings,
I held in my palms,
Nurturing,
Cherishing
And then, I gave it away...

Subtle filigree,
Of my emotions,
I weaved,
In silver strands,
And then, I shred it into pieces...

Delicate fantasies,
I envisaged,
Dreaming,
Aspiring,
And then, I burst the bubbles...

Candid reasonings,
I deduced,
Thinking,
Pondering,
And then, I wiped it, off my mind...

Gullible certitude,
I searched for,
Pursuing,
Foraging,
And then, I noticed the heaps, I left behind...

And I turn back,
Feeling,
Emoting,
Fantasizing,
Reasoning,
And then, maybe, my life would find, its certitude...

Eternal Solace

I hear the heartbeats-
Loud, for me to hear,
Thumping, in me,
Harder, a racy pace,
And, I just fall, short of breath...

I hear the muffled voices-
Soft, whispering ballads,
I try to sharpen my ears,
To take note, of the words,
And, I find myself, drooping away...

I see the little faces-
Dear, faking smiles,
Expressions that give away,
The fear, the pains,
And, I find myself, fading away...

I feel the bursting pain-
Gravid, running through me,
Oozing out the very little life,
Left in me, tonight
And, I find myself, slipping away...

I experience an aura-
Heavenly, I see a glow, a calm.
I hear, the musical harp, play.
I sense, exhilaration, bubble.
And, I find my eternal solace, just a step ahead...

Finding love...

Conflicting thoughts overpower me,
As I try to get a hold on myself,
Listening, to your words pouring out...

The many years of being friends,
Spending oodles of time together,
Little pranks of ours, refreshing.
The gentle joys doubled with you.
The tears we shed, for you, and me.
Tonight, all the bitter sweet memories,
Fill me up, and I feel my heart swell...

Hearing the excitement in your voice,
I find no joy, the very first time, ever so.
For I see yourself, fading away, away from me...

The million new crushes of yours,
sharing your passion, in all its glee,
I stood by, your best friend, for life,
Trying to help you ever, each little deed.
But tonight, as I realize it, hard and true,
You have found, your soul mate, special,
My heart does a loop, tears flood my eyes...

Animatedly, you tell me, all your dreams,
I see the twinkle in your eyes, so fresh,
And, for a split second, I feel jealousy creep in...

My mind seems in a puddle, a mess,
For I feel myself, fake my joy, just to please.
I wonder why I do feel this hollow, the void,
Why my heart fears, of losing you, to someone.
I am glad, in a strange way, you found your love
Yet I can't accept, that, no longer you'd be mine,
I have to give up my best friend, tonight...

You sense my fears, i wonder, off the sudden,
For I see the twinkling eyes narrow, as in thought.
And, I know it true, you can see right through me.

Friends for life, ever and forever,
Sharing your greatest joy, with me,
And yet i stay frigid, as cold as ice.
I feel myself torn apart, by feelings so new
Watching you look down at me, knowingly,
I realise, I am marring your joy, scarring it,
And I feel myself, fall short, before my own eyes...

You smile into me, holding my hands in yours,
Your voice soothing me, with unspoken words,
And now, I know, we are meant to be- friends for ever,and just that.

And i smile deep into myself, feeling the joy of finding love, and redefining it...

My Call...

Time pays no heed to my call.

The many ages of staying far away,
hasn't it reached its toll?
You are off, to make me a mansion,
of gold and stones precious!
Ever wondered if I would remain,
till then?

You pay no heed to my call.

The one time I wished you near,
you offered me a note!
Sympathy wrapped in golden words,
rolled into a parchment, special!
Ever wondered it hard, and true,
would it suffice?

Life pays no heed to my call.

The little dreams of mine, ever thwarted,
I wonder why?
The short lived fond memories of y'days,
can it wipe off today's tears?
Life moves on in its own pace, rhythmic,
my pace, but does it match?

None pays heed to my call.

Every time I try finding my own joy,
I find some one's grief, but why?
Along the same paths, I trod on, each day,
why fragrances never seem the same?
Every time I call out, loud, out into eternity,
I wonder, would I, ever be heard???