Finding love...

Conflicting thoughts overpower me,
As I try to get a hold on myself,
Listening, to your words pouring out...

The many years of being friends,
Spending oodles of time together,
Little pranks of ours, refreshing.
The gentle joys doubled with you.
The tears we shed, for you, and me.
Tonight, all the bitter sweet memories,
Fill me up, and I feel my heart swell...

Hearing the excitement in your voice,
I find no joy, the very first time, ever so.
For I see yourself, fading away, away from me...

The million new crushes of yours,
sharing your passion, in all its glee,
I stood by, your best friend, for life,
Trying to help you ever, each little deed.
But tonight, as I realize it, hard and true,
You have found, your soul mate, special,
My heart does a loop, tears flood my eyes...

Animatedly, you tell me, all your dreams,
I see the twinkle in your eyes, so fresh,
And, for a split second, I feel jealousy creep in...

My mind seems in a puddle, a mess,
For I feel myself, fake my joy, just to please.
I wonder why I do feel this hollow, the void,
Why my heart fears, of losing you, to someone.
I am glad, in a strange way, you found your love
Yet I can't accept, that, no longer you'd be mine,
I have to give up my best friend, tonight...

You sense my fears, i wonder, off the sudden,
For I see the twinkling eyes narrow, as in thought.
And, I know it true, you can see right through me.

Friends for life, ever and forever,
Sharing your greatest joy, with me,
And yet i stay frigid, as cold as ice.
I feel myself torn apart, by feelings so new
Watching you look down at me, knowingly,
I realise, I am marring your joy, scarring it,
And I feel myself, fall short, before my own eyes...

You smile into me, holding my hands in yours,
Your voice soothing me, with unspoken words,
And now, I know, we are meant to be- friends for ever,and just that.

And i smile deep into myself, feeling the joy of finding love, and redefining it...