nature,a tease!

the vast expanse of my sky
smears of crimson,all so bright!

sunbeams so red,and golden hue
peeping at me,a twisted smile?

the breeze so light and cool
whispering sweet nothings into me!

the sun bidding its final adieu
wishing me all luck ,all so warm!

the dark carpet creeping in anew
gentle nudges at me,tintillating!

stars breaking through the velvet
darkness dazzling with the new jewels!

moon shining in so full a gleam
moon beams winking at me,a silent tease!

the ebony night turning into musk
feel my senses astute,scents of you!

i walk into the open air,fresh
time seems standstill,electrified!

never knew nature as such a chaff
tickling me all over,the breeze!

just this very night i have to endure
dawn break and my spring would be home!

the first blush is all i await,and you,
but nature,why tonight,you,a real tease?!?

Reflections of a lifetime...

plop plop,
i heard the splash,the pebbles dropping

looking up,
i found you behind,so full of tender smiles

warmth,
in your eyes,so coal black,ever twinkling

my hands,
beckoned you beside,yet i felt so coy

sitting across,
i could see the gentle lines of ageing

the sunbeams,
and you squint away,frowning as if in fury

a gentle touch,
your finger on my ring,commitment of decades

the pond,
so green and placid,the ripples vanishing

reflections,
of you and me,our images so subtle,sombre

cupping,
the crystal clear water in your palms

sprinkling,
the pure water at my face,i felt so shy

fifty odd years,
and a family tree,all branched away,growing

still together,
i feel so blessed to be here once again today

no words,
no touch,just the mere feel of heartbeats

peals of music,
echoes reverbrating,notes of ages ago,yet distinct

reflections,
of a lifetime,yet all i see is,you and me...

But,why???

hold on to my hands
never let go
the world is ours
together,we go.

untrodden paths
creepy twines
holding you back
tug,you'll be free.

just trust my faith
calm your nerves
the paving ways
always do have an end.

rushing past the crowds
i turn to look back
vanishing from my view
i found no you.

frantic i searched
screams choking in my chest
i tried to capture
eyes searching for you.

left or right?
i wonder where
did you scamper to?
lost or wandered off?

no answers ever
unless you appear
questions many
i kill myself with.

you and me
our paths intertwined
you and me
questions unanswered
but,why?

her tinkling bangles...

soothening music to my ears
her bangles jingling away
a hundred new dreams for ever
rush in me from a mystery land .

chiming like her smiles,
the vine red bangles many
i felt it fade in the shade
of the crimson of her cheeks!

tinkling away in a fresh note
the trinkets on her hands soft
i longed to hold her hands in mine
and count the bangles,sharing time.

silver crafted in a beauty new
thin strings of dangling beads
i saw them jingle away in glee
and i felt my heart beat in sync.

smiling into me everytime we meet
no words spoken,silence so golden
yet everytime her bangles jingle
i feel a thousand coversations run.

i go to bed every night,dreams of her,
hoping to be woken up by her very touch
beads of silver dangling over my face,
smiles of her and tinkles into my soul...

the melancholy rain...

raindrops on my window panes
winds lashing the drops on me
i feel a sudden cold,so wet
soothing me deep down!

pulling my blankets close
i tried to toss and turn
in my little bed so cozy
dreams so fresh and soft!

the cloudy sky around me
and music of the rain
i felt so good to be home
and i closed my eys once more!

the rains marred at my face
little droplets striking me
i felt your touch so dear
and i couldnt help look around!

soon the music seemed no joy
i could find no soothening note
all i heard was a melancholy tune
rain or no rain,my life without you!

pushing the blankets away from me
i stepped out to reach the window
gently i pulled in the latches close
no shower of joy could rain my life again!

Remembrances

a lifetime,
worth of memories.
in you,
i found the depth,
of the unknown.
the desire,
to try and hold onto.
the wish,
to never let go.

remembrances
of you,
spreading in me,
likes ripples in the lake.
the tender breeze,
pulling chords deep within.
and i realise,
i can never wipe you off.

deep down,
in me,
there is just you.
and memories of yours
are worth,
a lifetime.
remembrances,
for my life!

summer's end...

night after night
irrevocably calm
i sing myself
a lullaby
to sleep!

every morn i awake
with dreams of you
my hands search
a reflex deep
for you,beside!

coldest winds marring
window panes shattering
i wince everytime
i wonder if it's
a warning tone?

winter chills,snowy roads
lanterns lit,fire set
i read myself
fiction or facts
i read away!

every footstep i hear
my heartbeats faster
thumping in me
i wish for you
to return!

gone off,one summer
off with friends
fun and frolic
wonder why
i still wait?

spring be it,or autumn new
winter chills often in me
i try to reassure myself
i just need to wait
yet again,for one more
summer's end!

life- a string of beads...

beads so creamy white,
pearls,a precious kind,
woven in fancy,
charming a jewel,
chain of desire...

every eventful reminder,
every single smile,
every drop of tear,
every feeling fresh,
woven into memories...

a streak of emotions,
crafted by the world,
threads of feelings,
and endless beads,
all woven into a life...

i wonder if the threads,
are strong enough to hold,
every bead of pain,silent muses,
every bead of joy,tinkling notes,
wonder when the thread'd split...

beads of a lifetime,
spilling all over,
silence striking forever.
and memories are all
that remains,of a life once so fresh ...

perfect stranger!

the darkest night
in starry delight
the tender waft
hugging me tight
the world so zooming
looking outta the car
at the traffic signal
i saw a face so bright
humming a tune afresh
sitting idle,yet smart
i looked across at you
you never noticed my glance!

the jet black hair all messy
it kept blowing all around
stubble of yours on your face
i found it so charmingly sweet
i saw you smile away in glee
as if in some reverie lucid
i found your fingers
strumming the steering wheels
impatient whiffs so new
i could sense in you
i felt mesmerized
and so much in awe
you weren't handsome
yet i found myself
drawn to you...

i wonder if you'd
look at me,a casual glance
i tried to smile
at my frivolous thoughts
the traffic lights beamed
and i found you
speed away.
and i realise it so
how oblivious to eachother
the world really is
for none knows none
and yet we long to know..

my perfect stranger,
you'd never know
i'd go to bed tonight
smiling,thanks to you!

One,two,three...

one,two,three
counting,
away.

walking across
the meadows,
lushy.

i pick a little flower
name unknown,
to me.

petals so red
one by one,
i tear.

one,for my sins
and i wish to,
cleanse.

two,for my greed
i long to,
curb.

three,for my streak
of sadism,i try
to rinse.

four,for my hypocrisy
i wish to,
wipe off.

five,for my egoistic self
i wish to,
oblivate.

six,i utter in sync
so many emotions,
flashing.

alas!i find just the stump
in my hands,
no petals.

so much of negatives
i never fathomed,
possible.

halting by the meadow
i bent to pick a flower,
to start,all over.

one,two,three
counting away,
yet again...

our love forever...

waiting at the airbase
a bundle of nerves
i didnt know what
to expect,
in the least!

i remembered you
as my handsome mate
whose eyes smiled
everytime in glee
and a love so pure!

i still recollect
the horror i felt in me
when i heard the news
drafted by the nation,
to fight for its pride!

every day i'd wake up
with a fear so sharp
fears probing into me
i try hard to put away
conflicts in me!

iraq in war,deaths many
every day reports the press
and i pray to lord
with all my heart and soul,
i need you safe,i need you back...

and on a morning as ever
i got a ring that shook my world
news that broke my soul
my man was hurt,greviously hurt
yet i found solace he is alive!

and since that day,i have
prayed so hard for you to be back
i wondered each moment who hurt
you could have been,just a minor one
i'd pray all the time,so hard...

now as i see you get down the flight
i have no words,for i couldnt know
i couldnt recognise it is you,my love
and when you were near,i found you
the familiar peace in my soul,i found you...

no arms that held me close
your face once so blemishless
now seems beyond comprehension
i fel the pain lynching at my soul
to see you lost,a strnger before me..

but i could still see you in the light
of our days of love,once shared in glee
i could find your soul so pure as ever
and i wished to love you the very same
and i thanked my lord,i still have you in life...

as we walk down the aisle today,
man and wife, blessed by the lord
i find our love to be blessed
a love that is gonna live
even after we are gone away forever,
for it would run through us,into the world....


(diz iz inspired from the real life story of an american soldier n his wife..plz do chek de pic posted along...its de actual pic)

first crush...

skip a beat,
urged
myself,
to my singing heart.

flash a smile,
whisphered
the gale,
humming into my ears.

never do stare,
warned
my senses,
words into my mind.

the lady-like gait,
signalled
my limbs,
and i stride in glee.

"is he looking?"
i ask
myself,
hoping for your one glance.

"yes indeed,
he's coming near",
i notice
from the corner of my eyes.

my heart does skip a beat,
i do flash a smile,
trying to act coy,no stares,
no split second for thoughts!

i turn along my sides
to offer you a welcome note
alas! i found you nowhere!
and then i saw,you and her walking along..

tears didnt sting me,
yet i felt desolete,
i walked back home,
a pain in my heart,my first crush blown apart!

..mea culpa...

dripping
into the whirlpool
of greed,
i saw no depth
of need,
no deepest necessity,
just sheer mirth,
to possess.

churning
and gyrating as a pulse
the deepest
of emotions,once-
a greed immense,
pounding into, voices
propelling
to sin.

slithering away
towards
the deepest pit
of lust-
of extravagance-
of sin-
sudden flashes of heat
burns me.

a sleek cool carpet
soothens
my skin now
i crawl away
hopes to be renewed
i try to creep
for once ever
away from sin.

wonder deep down
do i really wish
to cleanse?
or is it
yet another sin?
i wonder again
as i crawl away from sins
why do i turn back for once?

mea culpa..
my sins..
i utter..
as i crawl away...to...?

for you,my bro...

you came into my life,
too off the sudden
and;
i felt so blessed,
to have you in here!

a friend i hoped in glee,
to find in you
but;
you made me your sister,
i felt joy unbound!

family friends we sure were,
we hadnt ever met before
yet
just a glance at you,
and i felt bonds so special!

a long lost little brother,
i could find in you
"sis";
you'd call me day and night,
showing me off as if a trophy!

you made me smile away in joy,
little pranks and funny tales
always;
giving me so much of a love,
wanting me with you everytime!

often i'd wonder about you,
full of smiles and a tender soul,
hurt;
you cant,even a single being,
love and only love,you had in you!

my little brother in you,
i longed to take you under my wings
care;
so much of care,i wished to show,
teaching you all that i knew!

every sunday i'd drive in to see you,
at your hostel so dear to you
and;
friends of yours would cover me in love,
and i feel am so blessed to have you!

a doting sister,you term me
"gajar ka halwa" you demand from me
baked;
in my love,i feed you everytime
ahh! my lovely little brother!

and now as i look back at times
i find you were never mine
just;
a lovely soul,a brother,i made of you
loving you more than ever,i still do!

i knew it then,since the very first time
that you were here just for a while
and;
then you'd go back to your dear ones
away from me,with promises to meet again!

i dunno why i still feel a pang so deep
as if i have lost you forever today
for;
i saw you wave to me off the train
and i felt a part of me bleed in pain!

my little one,i have had the best of times
you and me,our fun and frolic,little tussles
today;
as you are on the way back home
i know your soul too grieves in deep sorrow!

promises a many,i hold for you anew,
wishes and hopes you'd always have good
and;
memories of a lifetime of love you have given,
in this short stinct of yours in here!

no links of blood,binds us together,
no name for our relationship so special
but;
threads of love,bind our souls so deep,
a love above all,for i found a brother in you!

gone away from me today,i saw tears in you eyes,
trying hard to make me smile through my tears
you;
my little one,you came to me as a tender waft of care
blowing away from me today,you have taken my breath away!

goodbye,my love...

ohh!
tears stinging my soul
i ran towards the railway station..

hard,
i feel myself
being ripped apart,frantic i searched for you..

grief,
of losing you,after years of loving you
and there is no way for you to stay,to hold you back..

stop ,
i wish to beg you,for i feel its still early
i havent even had a chance to let you know i love you..

helpless,
i know you are today and i need to stand by you
for you are stepping out today,to a new world of joys..

a new step,
you are about to undertake,dreams of a career bright
a fresh dreamy walk into the mysterious journey of life..

pain,
in your soul so raw,pleading eyes asking me along
you have spent years trying to find love in my eyes..

in vain,
and now i have the love in me,but you cant wait
i long to run away leaving behind every part of my life..

chains,
i feel holding me back,family ties shackling me in
i cant forgo my responsibilities,not even for a love so strong..

and here i am,
tears in my heart,brimming as if in an uptide
pain seeping in me as a toxin new,suffocating me so deep..

come along,
you plead to me a hundredth time,ever word stings me
and you feel so barren,hollow as a void and i feel so dead..

you,
never know my hurt,having to sacrifice my love for you
never know how i kill myself, every time i say "no"..

if i let you know,
you'd never leave me,bleeding within,i know it so
i cant be strong if i let you see the love in my eyes..

train halts,
i feel my soul soaked in salty tears of my love
i wish you'd be here to warm my soul,kiss away my tears..

alas!
time is up,you have to go,far away,so far away
and i find myself turning stone in grief,so deep..

smiles,
so fake on my lips,a cascade of tears welling in
i dared not to look up,for i couldnt bear the sight..

you,
held my hands one last time,words failing
i felt a burning cold burn my skin,tears of yours..

looking up,
i saw you smile so sad,longed to grip you hard
and never let go,but our hands entwined,were now free..

waving,
at you,lips trembling at every smile i try to fake
i see your sihoutte slurr,as the train speeds away from me..

tears,
finally are at peace,for i can cry,cry my heart away
for you are not here to see my love,you are so far away today..

hollow,
i feel a void so deep,every memory with you,i'd cherish
turning back one last time,i wave out,teary eyes,shattered soul..

goodbye my love,
i feel my love,unknown to the world or even to you,
painstakingly beautiful,our unfulifilled love,lingering all over!

hurting reminders...

i saw a face once too dear
across the streets so near
crowded,one bustling street
i felt my heart skip a beat!

after what seems like ages
i saw you,my life's old pages
refreshed itself before my eyes
i felt helpless under the skies!

i felt myself gain my speed
as if following your new lead
voices around,loud,began to slurr
and i felt your silhoutte blurr!

my feet took me along as if in a haste
i couldnt let your glimpse to go waste
voices in me blamed me so hard
i had no reason to go this wayward

conflicts grew in me,your one glance
all i could feel was a teary dance
in my soul,i felt the pain so raw
once so dear,and now strangely a foe

some wounds never heal too well
just need a wind to fume the swell
and i still feel the pain so deeply fresh
and i wish i hadnt seen you in the rush

scabs so deep i thought i would never forget
blemishes in my soul,i hoped not to regret
i longed to have been unaffected ny your sight
all i feel is a deep sorrow,i had buried downright...

medicine...an easy life?????

i need a break
i say to myself
mugs of coffee
on my desk
piles of books
waiting to be read

pharmacolgy
killing me hard
wonder what's best
tripati is the best
i hear seniors say
but somehow
i like satoskar better
heard someone tell
he's the handsome guy
of the lot..
ma'ms say read katsung
what do they know
of the feeling of doom
when i see all the names-
clorygline, seligyline
ANS seems to kill me hard
god i need a break!

pathology my best one
before the exams
i seem to be fine
and in the hall
what is a granuloma?
and i look in daze
what the hell do i write?
in TB,we have it,
i know.. but what more?
sweat breaks too hard!

microbiology
the science of microbes
i wonder why the hell
do they dwell in our body?
tresspassing
should be prohibited
for then i dont have to
mug up all the bacetrial names
mycoplasma and viruses
bacillus,cocci,mycetes
and what are these??????

forensic or jurisprudence
god, even corpses want to kill?
i hate it so hard
to bear the stench
and more than that
who cares a damn
defining rape and all crap?
enough and more
of the morgue,i have seen it all
nightmares more worse,
i have in my sleep!

a science student
i felt proud ages ago
and now i feel what a crime
better would have been a BA
damn,and still you say
we have an easy life??????

...wind chimes...

the soothing music...
...flowing along in glee

chiming of the bells...
...floating as if a dream

smiles of once...
...reverbrating in my soul

melodies of a lifetime...
...weaving a music so new

tinkles in my heart...
...everytime i hear the chimes

my eyes seem to wet...
...in fondest memories of once

in the hollow lost world...
...where i dwell all alone

wind chimes swaying in the breeze...
...the only sound apart from mine

in the subtle calm of the night...
...i can hear it so lucid

notes of love,a ballad;i wonder...
...chiming away,deep into my soul

every crack of a new dawn...
...i wake up to the music

the sound of the music of today...
...the euphony so prismatic

soothing my soul,calming my senses...
...i long to fall into endless slumber

hearing the peals of music...
...the very hymn of my life

and once the musical tinkles stop...
..come to bury me deep,deep down

walking away-1

love me till you tire away
just dont expect me to return
i see in you, no longer
the lover i envisaged before...

i hoped for someone fresh
who knew the nuances of love
i need someone strong and fit
who'd love me the way i do...

i dont need your helping hand
i dont need assistance everytime
a friend in you,i hate to see
i just need a man for me...

i hate it when you tag along
words of caution at every step
asking me to think and plan
no strength to take some risks...

disgust or is it pity,i dunno
i feel it hard when i see you
beg and plead for my one look
o! dont you see, i need a man!

i need a man,all strong and tough
who'd love me,body and soul
i need a man who can take me
to heights of pleasure you never can..

unromantic a soul you are deep down
to love me the way i need to be loved
i cant wait even if you try to change
for deep down you can never do...

i need a man who can turn me on
day or night,kiss me to delight
take me by force,every single time
make me shudder in orgasmic delight...

i dont need someone to feed me
nor do i need a love to paint my toes
i dont need a lover who sheds tears of joy
whenever i say "i love you dear"...

teary soul and a panic in your eyes
you sing out aloud,a love flowing to me
i have known your love for me,so true
and at times i do feel a pang of guilt...

going back on the golden courtship days
dreams afresh and floating in glee
newly weds;bouquets and cakes;you and me
the love and joys i dreamed about...

but i realised you could never be my man
the man i loved to make love to;a man
strong and romantic,wild and fresh,i longed
i found my man on the streets;am walking away...

i dont know if i have been fair to you
i wish to offer a comforting word or two
but i have no love for you,i needed a man
and i've found one today,to take me to the stars!

walking away-2

gazing along the footsteps you traced
i still cant fathom why you have left
walking away from all my love
i wonder where did i go wrong?

loving you so deep and true
i've always tried to be by your side
coming to you early every eve
to sit and share our day's events

i've tried to be your helping hand
pouring you coffee by my own hands
cooking sunday treats just for you
your one smile could make my day!

i tried it hard to give you space
never posed any suspicious glares
for i truely had faith in my love
never knew you wanted more than me...

i saw you walking with a new man
i just smiled and waved you a hi
i saw your eyes darken,his so cold
but i failed to see the entwined hands...

i have known you to be strong
too deep and hot,burning my skin
you panted for more,never satiated
every single time we made love...

i never knew the taunting words
you'd often utter after the coupling
were so deprooted in your soul
alas! i wonder have you ever loved me?

walking away from me tonight
you have taken along,a part of me
a thread of love still connects
my soul to you,bound by love

you may find any man to turn you on
please your body,delight your psyche
weave aphrodisiacal magic for you
but never love you more than i do..

i wonder why i could never try
to let you know my true worth
nymphmaniac i knew you were
yet i loved you with all my heart

no tears,no pain,no guilt
just smiles and eyes stoned in lust
i just want you to know,my love
years down the lane,only love'd prevail

and you'd realize it someday
you need a man who'd love your scars
a man who'd love your crinkled skin
every flab,every blemish,every part of you!

walking away-3

ah! a lady,easy enough to lay
a bundle of fun to be around
for i can see hopes so deep
she's a woman;a pretty good one!

a couple of times our eyes have met
driving along with a naive man
in his eyes i could see adoration
but hers were cold and dark...

easy enough to crack this one
i uttered to my precarious soul
i walked around her so often
time spun;and i had her to me!

and what a delight to look at
all white creamy skin,silky smooth
her auburn hair,so soft and wavy
eyes so deep and never cold,just eager..

curvaceous figure hugging me tight
my lips and hands exploring in delight
pounding hard i looked into her eyes
lusty eyes i could see in sheep delight

plumped onto the pillow si soft
i looked at her still in beads of sweat
she seemed to smile in some reverie
wonder if she missed her man??

ah! i asked her if she'd like to
come away with me, no strings attached
not a question as to where or why
just pulled me onto her deepest center

no promises uttered,no dreams to share
yet i know she'd beg me to stay along
craving for me and my hungry self
she'd be there waiting for me...

now is not the time to let her know
she's not the woman i'd love to tie knots
and i'd break to her the truth so bare
she's not my lady,not my love,never!

she's a craving soul to feed onto in glee
a beautiful body,waiting to please
and when am done with it all,for good
i know how to walk away,away...

she's a woman to me,but just not mine
for i need a lady who'd never stray
i have seen her cold,brutally cold self
all i need is her body to explore...

walking away from the man who loved her so
she never realised how it feels to be let down
i promise you honey,you'l soon get to know
walking away is never so easy,you'l soon know...

my amputated soul..

"sweet lilly swaying in the breeze so cool
its gentle petals laden with the pristine dew

my morning walk along the woods so dark and green
the wonderful freshness of the mornin,warming me

every step i take,i plan every deed for the new day
walking along the cavy paths in,i smile at you

every single morn i pave along curious paths untrodden
each new thought,a new walk along the new horizons"

i wake up to a dream of mine,the every day joy
though the same everyday,it rejuvenates me

now as i open my eyes to a new dawn,all fresh
i find the bed so strangely new,i am dazed

i turn around to look at the cozy room i love
i find myself so lost,a hospital room i gather

events tumble as a kaliedoscope before my eyes
i feel the scent of the morning blossoms yet again

and then i feel the deafening screech,
so outta control, i couldnt move an inch

the crashing sound i heard as if in a distance
and i could feel vision blurr,drowsiness seeping in

a tremor shake me as i recall the accident cruel
yesterday i wonder, or was it today?

i look around to see the ventilator tubes
the IV running through me,healing wounds

and then i see my your face ever so dear
and i try to move my legs and sit up straight

and i can feel a hollow in me that i cant fathom
gently i draw the crisp white spreads away from me

realisation hit me so hard, i try to feel my legs
but alas! i find just a stump in white,dressed up

my limbs no longer there, i feel myself choke to death
how am i to live again?am i to be confined to my bed?

tears breaking in,like an ice cap melting in the sun
as i realise you can never paint my toes again,in your love

i can never walk again by your side,along the shores
no joys to give,a crippled young soul i'd become

invalid,i realise in a pang,a hurt so deep,scarring me
deep down i know i am never gonna be the same anymore

i wish to sleep,and never wake up again to see your face
for i cant bear to see your eyes loving me still,i know it true

as i lay back on the bed,my eyes shut in deepest despair
i find myself so lost,a part of me dead forever...

eyes closed,trying to hold back my tears i feel barren,
"a cripple" voices in me yell,yet its my soul that is amputated!

sail away...

the deep blue of the sea
reflecting in your eyes
and the lashing of waves
i see the fury so deep!

i wonder if its fierce
like the whirlpools,i feel
myself being dragged into
the oceanic depths unknown!

i see the flaming anger in you
set ablaze by my random words
how was i supposed to know it hard
you'd be hurt by the merest of jokes

i smiled inward for i felt the love
i never knew my one little word
of leaving you,leaving your side
could set your temper aflame!

and as i see the anguish and fury
trying hard to submerge the love in you
i feel a rush,a rush of joy so pure
i realize deep down i have been right...

my pick of you,the one choice of mine
i wouldnt ever regret i know its true
even if destiny plays its own treachery
i would still feel grateful to have loved...

i wish i could swim till i tire
in the deepest blue of your eyes
and sail away in glee all my life
in the ocean of your love,just sail away...

my one long wait...

walking away from you
after what seems ages
an era of a relationship
and now i feel free
i feel i'm me
once again!

the many golden times of ours
smiles and laughs often
our gentle love teases
silly li'l trifles
we have seen it all
more than once!

i have seen your greys and hues
have tried to be blind
to your jealous self
to pay no much heed
when you hurt me
many a time!

i have watched in helplessness
when your eyes would flirt
and you walk along with me
feeling as if miles away
eyes aloof,even shadows
moving opposite ways!

i tried so hard to stay by you
even when you went astray
for i always thought it true
you'd change someday
i knew i could wait
till that day!

when you left me for someone new
i felt shattered,weak and lost
i saw no light,my future bleak
despair filling me,to the brim
love for you as frozen tears
stuck in my soul!

i longed to see you back with me
i dunno why i still waited in hope
i wonder why,for i felt no more love
no more dreams of being one
no loving future,no fantasies
yet i wanted you back!

feeling betrayed my soul wept
in deepest of anguish i waited
waiting for the one last time
when you would come back to me
to plead and beg pardon
every moment,a torture!

and now as i walk away from you
i feel so feathery,light and free
my soul seems to rejoice in joy
i dont wanna turn back ever
not even to see your tears
or sighs of desperation!

and you did come back to me today
after ages of longing i had you
asking me back,remorse in youe eyes
i felt no revenge,no need to hurt
for i saw you today as a beaten man
heart wrenching a sight!

i find no love in me to give to you today
i feel no grief, no pain,in your despair
i feel pity for the stranger beside me
i feel my spirits cleansed anew
and i know i am free
free,atlast!

a gentle pat on shoulders,once i rested on
a smile deep from my heart,prayers ever
and i walk away,leaving you behind
leaving behind my yesterdays
the wait finally over,
my one long wait!

forever...

sandy beaches so white,
the pearly skies,
and you so dear,
to me!

fragrant beaches,
coolest breeze,
nostalgia,
in me!

many of the dinners,
along the shore,
barbeques,
of ours!

nightfall and the stars,
your body and soul,
melting,
into me!

the deep slumbers,
dreams flooding,
silent lovers,
you and me!

the gentle waves in glee,
caressing our feets,
a loving touch,
is it you?

the break of dawn afresh,
pristine dew on us,
a gentle kiss
on my lips!

bedspread of sand,
blanket of waves,
whispers,
of yours!

the brightest sun,
peeking at me,
eyes wide awake,
i look!

around i see no sand,
no waves to cleanse,
no gentle waft,
no you!

no dew drops to befall,
just ages of tears,
yet i still miss,
you,so...

the many years begone,
living without you,
nights i still live,
in your dreams...

you and me,
forever,
ever!

bleed till...???

rip me into pieces
shred my skin as flakes;
the snaky flakes,slithering...

drink my blood,so vine red
and quench the thirsts so hard;
thirsts to dry my soul...

crush me in the fiery shackles
chain myself,let me choke;
choke in all exasperation...

bind me onto the summit of doom
let me be blind to the painful end;
end of the saga of grief...

kiss me with your hungry lips
explore my body with your fangs;
fangs of venom to seep in through...

feed me to the beady eyed vultury beings
waiting for you to kill,to drain away;
drain my life in your hunger strokes...

you wait for none,just stay calm and subtle
you come to me just like a creepy shadowy self;
shadows in the dark,emotions of evil...

a part of me you are, a half of my soul
where i wish to kill,hurt and bleed ;
bleed to death,till the evil in me subsides...

Song of love...

you asked me once
on a bright spring morn
to sing out to you
not so loud,not too soft
for just you to hear!

i wondered out loud
how was it to be,
i looked at you
wondering about the song
a song just for you?

you smiled at me
held my hands in yours
a gentle squeeze so soft
and i felt i could smile
a smile just for you!

we walked away in glee
along the paving ways
stopping by the stream
the gush of water smooth
a song of nature!

the dew drops on the flowers
the freshness of the breeze
the chirping birds above
the scent of the morning sun
you and me,to add to the joys!

time was running in a tide
and we were stuck in our dreams
you held my hands one more time
before you smiled and let me go
with vows to meet again soon!

and as i turned back to look at you
smiling at me in all joy and love
letting me know how much you enjoy
our such little escapades of love
i sang our song of love!

you can't kill my love...

i dunno how you can smile at me
when you have already planned my destiny
that i'll be gone..away...so away..

i wonder why in the world i ever did try
to eavesdrop on the call that one night
to hear my death pronounced...

maybe its good i know my lovers face,naked;
for i can be ready to face it all,suspense and thrill
yet i wonder if you'd feel guilt pangs,ever...

i loved you,day or night,smiles or frowns
i saw in you no greys and blacks
all i saw was love...reflections of mine...

and now i find it hard to know,bare and true
you planning murder behind my back
plotting my death,feeling the thrill...

i wonder why i dont try to run
for i never wish to die a death so crude
but dunno why my steps falter,when away from you....

i know it so,i need to run and save my skin
but i feel,all that matters is lost forever
i have lost you...and nothing matters anymore...

plan and plot,take your time
i shall wait till you are done
for i have no words,nothing more...

take my life with your own hands
kill me, choke me;i really dont care
for am dead, dead as a corpse..

i walk around in a terrifying daze
i see your smile,daggers in your eyes
hatred seeping,hidden by your charms...

and i lie next to you every night
chills down my spine on your every touch
for i wonder is it now??

death,your final gift to me;i know it to be;
but not your first murder my dear;that fateful call
and you have killed me a thousand deaths...

your every glimpse and i wonder is it time yet?
you have killed my strength,my heart and soul,
but you cant kill my love for you..my love,my love...

Ah! My mirror!

A shiny sliver of silvery glass,
The well crafted wooden carvings,
Darkest of ebony frames,
Limpid images so fixed.
Ah! A mirror! But not mine...

Glowing soft eyes, so dear,
Reflections of my own fear,
I see embedded in them,
Deep set jitters of mine.
Ah! My mirror!

Crinkles, at the corners of your eyes,
when you smile so much, into me,
Responding to my loving words,
Your smiling eyes, and so much joy.
Ah! My mirror!

My teary eyes, so welling to burst,
Hurt, blurring my vision,
Even before I could tell you, why,
Your tears of love, befall on me.
Ah! My mirror!

A naughty gleam, so fresh,
Echoing my prankster self,
Enthusiasm so high, in your eyes,
Matching with the zeal, in mine.
Ah! My mirror!

A silent embrace, off the deep,
A cascade of love in your eyes,
Flowing through, reaching me,
Warming my soul, your jiving eyes.
Ah! My mirror!

The touch of your skin,
Warmth of your breath,
I can glimpse in your eyes,
My own desires, burning in rage.
Ah! My mirror!

Reflections for a lifetime,
I long to nest, in our dreams,
Every morn, I wake up to see,
Myself, embedded, in the eyes of yours,
Your eyes, my love!
Ah! My mirror!

Dont touch me ever...

dont touch me ever..

i see your wicked grin
and feel a chill in me;
life has been so unfair
is it just for me,i wonder?

early days,our love so dear
you and me,a dream come true;
days that we have spent in hope
nights of promises of love...

dont touch me ever..

the words i uttered in disgust
deepest of loathing in my mind;
months ago i melted in your touch
and now all i feel is deep regret...

i saw a face,i wished to see
blind i were,to the real you;
the first time you came so late
i never knew you were on a high...

dont touch me ever..

the sheer strength of you,that night
terrified me,hurting me all over;
stil i never knew you were on a dope
for i just could see my lover in you...

oft my mind goes back to the day
i found the syringes by your side;
and i knew it hard and true
i was losing you, my love...

dont touch me ever..

i longed to scream and shake you up
to let you know the nefarious self in you;
addiction so deepset in you,i found
no hope to steady your faltering steps...

i could try again and again
to have you back as the man i loved;
but when i see the cold dark eyes
barely registering me in them,i give up...


dont touch me ever..

black eyes and a bruised body
i could have lived with the pains;
but my soul was shredded beyond repair
for you have killed myself,my living self...

the animal cruelty in your touch
hurting me,ripping my limbs;
every night in bed,i die a new death
each morning i cry myself,tears of blood...

dont touch me ever..

i have no love tonight in my eyes
and yet you seem oblivious to my feel;
all you need is your dope so high
and a body to lynch on and rip apart...

no..i cant give up myself again
in hopes to get you back all sober;
no..no..its all over,and i feel so cold
an era of love clouded by a lifetime of hurt...

dont touch me ever..

even an untouched touch of yours
tremble my skin,kill my soul...

no..dont touch me ever..

a midnight blue dream...

i saw you once before now
basking in a bluish light;
the midnight blue!

i tried to hold my eyes open
to capture you in my frame;
the portrait anew!

time seemed to standstill
and i felt it so chilling cold;
the winter chills!

i tried to hold out my arms in glee
to try and warm your trembling self;
the warmth of my skin!

i heard you shudder as if in fear
and i felt helplessly in love with the image;
the vulnerable shadow!

the dark was creeping all over
in vain,i tried to reach your side;
misty smoke all over!

and then the crescent moon awoke
i looked above and saw the parting dark clouds;
a split second lost!

i turned to look back at the fairy you
and all i saw was a midnight dreamy me;
a mirror of my imagination..you!

chocolate fantasy!

Dripping honey
and milky cream,
all blended so well
to form a heavenly mix!

cocoa browns
so soft and smooth,
sugary syrups
to add to the taste!

crisp baked cookies
dipped in the cream,
chocolate toppings
that melt in the mouth!

eyes closed,and in awe
senses calm yet astute,
to savour every flavour in glee
ah!what a dreamy chocolate fantasy!

cloud number nine!

Sitting idle
on my bed,
looking through
the windows high,
i can see
the pale blue skies,
and blades of green
of the swaying palm trees!

i sit and watch
the clouds aloft,
gliding in calm
soft as the creamy flakes,
i wish to touch
the smooth white fluffs,
cold and shiny
ah!like the snowy satin spreads!

i wonder the feel
i would get,as i ride
on a cloud so fresh,
the lofty breeze
propelling,my cloud and me
i cant help but wonder now,
if it would be the feel so fresh,
as of being on cloud number nine!

Whirl of emotions...

   

whirls! of a different kind,
churning as if in a tide,
a swirl of colors-
a gyre of the deepest of emotions...

blue-
for the oceanic calm,of birth!
green-
for every sprouting thought!
red-
for every danger to be endured!
pink-
for every touch of love to be shared!
grey-
for every nasty thread in the soul!
black-
for the final calm,the last breath!
white-
for the final flight, to eternity!

a swirl of colors,
feelings dipped in them,
and the wait, for the ultimate shade-
the shade of never ending eternal bliss...

for my angel,so faraway...

 

the first time i saw his lovely smile
and i vowed never to stop smiling...

i saw him play away in frolic

and i prayed he'd never stop...

the gentle eyes of his
and i saw innocence so deep...

the first words he uttered
and it made me weep in joy...

his tumbling first little steps towards me
and i wished he'd run around with me...

the very first time he held my hand,
little fingers all so soft,tickling me...

i felt a love so pure raining in me
and i knew my joy had no bounds...

the little pranks he played on me
and i couldnt help smile away in glee...

and then one night, a winter night
and snowing heavily all around...

i heard a wail of despair,
and i ran outta my bed,awake in terror...

and i saw my little brother
soaked in blood,beneath the stairs...

no sight could ever wipe that scene
i found no words,no sound to cry...

rushing in came my folks in wails
i was in a daze, shock gripping me...

and then i knew it hard and true
my little angel had left me so soon..

tears rolled down,and i could see it gone,
the cherubic soul i had longed to protect...

yet i had failed,miserably failed in my own eyes
for i couldnt save my only love,my little one...

his once smiling face,filled my eyes with tears
his gentle cuddles of once, made me shiver...

its been ages since i have felt your touch,
yet i still wake up from sleep,stirred by your feel...

my little brother, i have you in my soul
an angel,whose smiles dwell in me...

the tender giggles chime in me,
his gentle soul echos in me...

my sunset

i see the crimson of ur cheeks
the deepest of blushes
my knees go all wobbly
when u smile at me in glee

i see the vine red of ur lips
the way they pucker up
to a gentle smile
when you touch mine

ah! best of all
i like the flaming anger
which i capture in my frame
a sunset in all its beauty!